Frasier (TV Series)

Something Borrowed, Someone Blue: Part 1 (2000)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Simon Moon : Thank you Marty, it's most hospitable of you.

  Martin Crane : Well, you gotta have a place to stay...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Stop right there! He cannot stay here! The man is loud, ill-mannered, and the last time he stayed here he killed a ficus tree on the downstairs neighbor's balcony by means which are best left to the imagination!

• Martin Crane : Niles, how was your trip?

  Niles : Oh, fantastic, Dad. Where's Frasier? I have some news.

  Martin Crane : He'll be back in a bit. What's up?

  Niles : Oh, well, uh, I should wait for Frasier, it was really his idea. Do you mind?

  Martin Crane : I can wait.

  Niles : Okay, I can't!

  Martin Crane : What is it?

  Niles : I'm married!

  Martin Crane : [shocked]  Married?

  Niles : Yes, Mel and I eloped yesterday. Well?

  Martin Crane : [gets up to hug him]  Well... congratulations, son! That's great. So, uh, you're happy, right?

  Niles : Oh, happy? I'm delirious!

  Martin Crane : Yeah, you'd have to be, wouldn't you? So, you say this was Frasier's idea?

  Niles : Well, indirectly, yeah. Oh, oh, before I forget: it occurred to me, I think we should keep this from Daphne and Donny. I would hate for them to think we were stealing their thunder.

• Martin Crane : Can I offer you a beer?

  Simon Moon : Oh, I hate to drink alone. Can I have a sandwich with that?

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Honestly Dad, when will you learn to take a hint?

  Martin Crane : I can't take a hint? Couldn't you see that Niles wanted to talk to you?

  [the elevator doors open as Frasier and Martin get on. Mrs. Richman is already on the elevator, presumably headed to the basement] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [continuing the conversation with Martin]  Well, whatever it is, it can wait

  Martin Crane : Oh, yeah! No big deal, he just got married, that's all!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [stunned]  What?

  Martin Crane : He eloped with Mel yesterday.

  Mrs. Richman : Poor Daphne...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Would you please keep out of this, Mrs. Richman?

  [to Martin] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : We have got to get back up there.

  [Frasier presses a button] 

  Martin Crane : We're going to the basement.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I can't wait that long!

  [the elevator door opens on a lower floor. Frasier rushes out of the elevator and up the stairs, leaving Martin behind]