Frasier (TV Series)

The Club (1995)

Peri Gilpin: Roz Doyle

Quotes 

• Roz : Frasier, this is so boring! Don't you both owe each other an apology?

  Frasier : Well, yes! But I was the first to apologize last time. Oh, wait - that means it's his turn! Oh, goody, I can be mature about this!

• Frasier : If he gets into that club I should too!

  Roz : Well, what if I happen to know someone very high up who could probably get you invited to that cocktail party?

  Frasier : Oh Roz, don't toy with me!

  Roz : [into phone]  Mr. Strickland, please. Just tell him it's Roz.

  Frasier : Walter Strickland, Jr?

  Roz : Senior.

  Frasier : [gasps]  Roz, how did you ever get to know someone so important?

  Roz : The less you know the happier you'll be.

• Frasier : Oh look, there's Niles. No, no, don't look! Pretend we don't even see him.

  Roz : Real mature, Frasier.

  Frasier : Thanks to that backstabber, I will never get to say the phrase that I've been rehearsing for a lifetime: "If you need me, I'll be at my club."

• [First lines] 

  Frasier : Well, we've got time for one more call. Roz, who've we got?

  Roz : We have Sid in Bremerton on three.

  Frasier : Hello, Sid. I'm listening.

  Frasier : Hello, Dr. Crane. I have a terrible fear of talking on the phone to people I do not know. I freeze up. It is a severe handicap in today's fast-paced, highly competitive world.

  Frasier : Sid, are you reading what you're saying?

  Sid : Uh...

  [shuffling papers] 

  Sid : Yes, I am. The only way I can comfortably communicate on the phone is to write everything out I wish to say in advance.

  Frasier : Well, what if someone asks you a question you haven't anticipated?

  Sid : Uhhhh...

  [shuffling papers again] 

  Sid : Thank you, Dr. Crane, for your most insightful comment. G-Goodbye.

  [Sid hangs up] 

  Frasier : Wait, Sid! Sid, if you're listening, your insecurity is rooted in your fear of making a mistake. In order to beat this thing, you're going to have to practice. If you work at it very hard. Then, one day, you too may achieve the command and confidence to which we all aspire to... be having. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, wishing you good mental health.

• Roz : It's eating you up inside, isn't it?

  Frasier : Like a carnivorous bacteria.