- Dr. Niles Crane: Do we really have to use so many musicians?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: For the sound I want, yes.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Whatever happened to the concept of "less is more"?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Ah, but if less is more, just think of how much more *more* will be.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, you see, that's fine as far as it goes, but this time I want you to do it with a bit more... grandeur. With some majesty and a soupcon of awe.
- [the trumpets play the fanfare exactly as before. Frasier turns to Kenny, Martin, Daphne, and Roz, who are seated behind him]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: There, you see. That's what good conducting can do.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Our show deals with the whole range of human emotion from euphoria to despair, and nothing says despair so quickly as the skirl of a bagpipe.
- Roz Doyle: Nothing says "Turn off the radio" so quickly either.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Who dares enter the dark labyrinth of the human mind? What festering secrets are buried in the recesses of the subconscious? Lurid images! Lewd desires! Guilty pleasures! Strange compulsions! The whole catalogue of human behavior from the aberrant to the monstrous lurks behind a locked door to which one man holds the key!