"Freaks and Geeks" The Garage Door (TV Episode 2000) - Martin Starr as Bill Haverchuck

Bill Haverchuck : Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?
Sam Weir : [to Neal] So, I told my mom that I was eating at your house, and Bill told his mom he was eating at my house, so that should give us some time.

Bill Haverchuck : When are we really gonna eat? I'm hungry.
Neal Schweiber : So, I wake up this morning, and guess what is sitting on the end of my bed?

Bill Haverchuck : A turd?

Neal Schweiber : Yes, Bill, a turd.

Bill Haverchuck : Eww, gross!

Neal Schweiber : An Atari video set. Is my dad the coolest, or what? So, uh, shall we say Asteroids, my place, 3:30?

Bill Haverchuck : Yeah, if that's when you wanna get your butt kicked.
Bill Haverchuck : You remember when we said we'd tell each other everything?

Neal Schweiber : Yeah.

Bill Haverchuck : Did you mean it?

Neal Schweiber : Of course.

Bill Haverchuck : Even if it's something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.

Neal Schweiber : Okay, Bill, you're killin' me. You gotta tell me now.
Bill Haverchuck : You know what would be cool, guys? To find a girl in a bottle, like - like "I Dream of Jeanie." I'd like to make out with her on that little couch.

Sam Weir : Yeah, Cindy would look good in those puffy pants.

Martin Starr: Bill Haverchuck