- Judge Carl Robertson: That was fun. There goes Philip Banks, the biggest sap that ever lived! What a stooge.
- Will: Excuse me?
- Judge Carl Robertson: He's a sap, a dope, a loser! He never had what it takes and he never will! Isn't that right?
- Will: I think you should take that back, man!
- Judge Carl Robertson: You do?
- Will: Yeah, I do!
- Judge Carl Robertson: Well, I think you should run along and play. And don't get involved in politics until you're a big boy!
- Will: At least my uncle stands for something!
- Judge Carl Robertson: Really? And what would that be? A buffet?
- [he laughs]
- Will: My uncle fights for what he believes in...
- Judge Carl Robertson: Shame on me.
- Will: My uncle's three times the man you will ever be!
- Judge Carl Robertson: [scoffs] He's got my vote!
- [laughs]
- Will: And another thing: Everything you said in your campaign was a lie! You have no integrity, no decency, and you're really, really short! And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead!
- [Judge Robertson suddenly gasps and drops down to the floor dead]
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Carlton, Ashley and Hilary] Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit.
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Judge Robertson] And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead.
- [Judge Robertson collapses to the ground]
- Reporter #1: Oh, my God, he's dead.
- William 'Will' Smith: Come on, man! If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
- Vivian Banks: Carlton, take out the garbage.
- Carlton Banks: I did it last week. It's the Terminator's turn.
- Philip Banks: I've made my decision. I'm gonna base my campaign on the issues, not the dirt. I have faith in LA that LA will have faith in me.
- [cut to a TV at Philip's political headquarters]
- TV Announcer: With over 90% of the districts reporting, Judge Robertson has overwhelmingly defeated Philip Banks.
- Philip Banks: [bitter] I hate LA.
- [Philip gets interviewed by Trevor, Hilary's boyfriend]
- Trevor: Uh, Mr-Mr. Banks, uh, not in recent memory has someone managed to lose a race by such a large margin..
- [chuckles]
- Trevor: and so darn quickly. Uh, how does it feel?
- Philip Banks: Well, once when I was a kid, I zipped my pants up too fast. Let's just say this brings back old memories.
- [smiles]
- Trevor: Ouch.
- Carlton Banks: I figured it out Will. I'm gonna get Dad what he always wanted.
- William 'Will' Smith: What, a Pizza Hut in the garage?
- Carlton Banks: *Better*. I'm gonna clench the election by getting an influential person to endorse him. Watch and learn.
- [picks up phone, clears throat]
- Carlton Banks: Hello, is President Bush there?
- [beat]
- Carlton Banks: Carlton... . Carlton Banks.
- [beat]
- Carlton Banks: It's personal.
- William 'Will' Smith: [Will grabs the phone and covers over the receiver] Carlton, are you by any chance an idiot?
- Carlton Banks: [grabs the phone back] "Not available"? Perhaps you should let George know that as alternate assistant treasurer to the Bel-Air junior Republicans, I'm in a position to scratch his back if he'll scratch mine. Capisce?
- [beat]
- Carlton Banks: Hello?