The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (TV Series)

Will Gets a Job (1991)

Will Smith: Will Smith

Quotes 

• William 'Will' Smith : [Will comes into the kitchen towelling off]  Man, I thought a dip in the pool would cool me off. I'm *blazing* about what Uncle Phil said to me.

  Geoffrey : I'm sure when he called you a Sophomoric cretin, it was figure of speech.

  William 'Will' Smith : No, that didn't bother me. It's when he said I was just Iike CarIton.

  Geoffrey : Yes, I can understand your concern. Sandwich?

  William 'Will' Smith : Yeah, sure. See, now, Iook, I know where I come from, man. I mean, I'm coming straight out of PhiIIy, man, and I'm proud of that. CouId you put that on a croissant for me?

  Geoffrey : CertainIy. You know, Master WiIIiam, we aII change.

  William 'Will' Smith : Hey, Iook, man, I haven't changed, I'm not gonna change and I'm not down with this bougie stuff.

  Geoffrey : Swiss?

  William 'Will' Smith : No, GorgonzoIa. Hey, man, I'm teIIing you, if there is one dude in the worId that's the totaI opposite of CarIton,

  [hits his chest] 

  William 'Will' Smith : it's this guy standing right here, man. Hey, thanks a Iot, G. Yo, man, how you gonna pIay a brother on the Grey Poupon?

  Carlton Banks : [comes into the kitchen]  Geoffrey, I'm famished. Can you make me a gargonzola sandwich on a croissant for me? Heavy on the Grey Poupon.

  William 'Will' Smith : Uncle Phil is right! I'm turning into Carlton, man. Yo, that's it man. No more of these sissy sandwiches, no more preppy parties, and no more hittin' Uncle Phil for handouts, and you know what? You see this check?

  [tears up the check Uncle Phil gave him] 

  William 'Will' Smith : Now you see it, now you don't! The Funky Fresh is back in the flesh with a vengence, homes!

  [Geoffrey walks away with the sandwich made for Will, but Will stops him] 

  William 'Will' Smith : I'm gonna eat that though. I'm just not gonna enjoy it.

• Philip Banks : [when the family is at the restaurant Will is working at]  That is it! You are the most rudest, most incompetent waiter I have ever met.

  William 'Will' Smith : [takes his eyepatch and bandana off]  I'm not a waiter. According to my uncle, I don't even have a job!

• Philip : [thinking over his drink order]  I don't know. I just can't seem to decide.

  Will : Well, We've got all three flavors of *Slim-fast*!

  Philip : I'll have a cola, wise guy!

• Will : [Dressed as a Waiter, Greeting the family]  Welcome to the Briny Deep, where none of our prices are ever too steep. We've got fresh fish, you can look in our tank. To get to the bathroom, make a left at the plank. Follow me!

• William 'Will' Smith : Let's get one thing straight: I don't look like Carlton, I don't act like Carlton, and most importantly, I don't look like Carlton.

• [Uncle Phil just grounded Will and took away all of his privileges] 

  Will : Why don't you just do me like Kunta Kinte and cut off my foot?