- [observing the fight with their partners]
- Louise Jefferson: That is so juvenile!
- Lisa Wilkes: I know, and I have never seen anything so STUPID!
- Louise Jefferson: You calling my husband stupid? Honey, the only thing stupid here is your big-eared boyfriend, he looks like a car coming down the road with both doors open!
- Lisa Wilkes: Okay, WEEZY, it's on now!
- Louise Jefferson: All right, sister, bring it on!
- [start their own fight]
- Dr. Whitehorn: Tonight, why don't we begin with a simple exercise? I'd like each one of you to say three things you like about your partner. Okay? George, why don't you start?
- [silence]
- George Jefferson: Well?
- George Jefferson: Well what?
- Louise Jefferson: The man said to name three things you like about me.
- George Jefferson: Fine! Your mother's died, your mother's dead, and your mother ain't living no more!
- [Will breaks out laughing, then stops when he sees Lisa glaring at him]
- Philip Banks: Hi kids.
- Lisa Wilkes: Hi Mr. Banks. Would you like to join us for dinner?
- Philip Banks: As lovely as that stinks, uh smells, I'll pass.
- Dr. Whitehorn: Hello, Louise, George.
- George Jefferson: Hello, Whitie.
- Dr. Whitehorn: No, it's Dr. Whitehorn.
- George Jefferson: Yeah, yeah, Horny, where do you want me to sit?
- Louise Jefferson: [as she's hitting George] THIS is for my momma! And THIS is for calling me Weezy, when you KNOW I'm sensitive about my asthma!
- George Jefferson: [about Will and Lisa] And I thought I had it bad!
- Louise Jefferson: And it's about to get WORSE!
- [pinches George]
- George Jefferson: OW!
- Philip Banks: Pinch me, Geoffrey.
- Geoffrey: Not on what you are paying me Sir. But, for thirty-five thousand, I'll slap you silly.
- [first words]
- George Jefferson: Get the lead out, Weezy!
- Louise Jefferson: I'm walking as fast as I can, George!
- William 'Will' Smith: [about Louise] Man, she always been like that?
- George Jefferson: Nah, she used to be mean!
- George Jefferson: [about his marriage to Louise] We tied the knot forty years ago, and I been swinging from it ever since!
- [Will gets into a fight with George Jefferson]
- Dr. Whitehorn: Stop it, stop it right now! Stop, or I'll charge you double!
- [the fight goes on anyway]
- [trying in vain to stop the fights]
- Dr. Whitehorn: You're missing the whole point here! Stop it, stop it right now! You're supposed to verbalize, not beat each other up! We might as well be taking karate!
- Will: It's woman like her why God made darkness.
- George Jefferson: [laughs] Hey? Are you insulting my wife?
- Will: Wait... hold up, cul-de-sac... I think you need to chill. I'm twice your size, and half your age, so you need to just back off.
- George Jefferson: Your mama!
- Will: [Will drops his cookies from his hands] I know you ain't talking about my mama!
- George Jefferson: Okay, then let's talk about your daddy. Your daddy was so fat... that when he went to school he sat next to *everybody*! And still... he still not as fat as your fat mama!
- [walks away]
- Will: [Will runs to him and hits him with a bat]