Friends (TV Series)
The One Where Rachel Smokes (1999)
Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay
Photos
Quotes
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Phoebe Buffay : [carrying two large bulky black bin bags into Joey's apartment] Is it OK if I leave this stuff here until Rachel's Birthday party?
Chandler : [standing by the workout with a bottle] Uh, sure. What's in 'em?
Phoebe Buffay : [leaves the bags on one of the armchairs] Um, cups.
Chandler : Oh good, because we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
[Phoebe smiles]
Ross : [sitting at the worktop holding a bottle] Seriously, that's *a lot* of cups.
Phoebe Buffay : [proudly] Yeah, well that's 'cause I'm in charge of cups and ice and Monica is gonna *rue the day* that she put me in charge of cups and ice!
Chandler : You know, I rued the day once. Didn't a whole lot else done.
Phoebe Buffay : [preparing herself] OK, time to bring up the rest of the cups.
[Phoebe opens the apartment door as Joey arrives]
Phoebe Buffay : [exiting the apartment] Hey Joey!
Joey Tribbiani : [entering the apartment] Hey Pheebs!
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Phoebe Buffay : [entering Monica's and Chandler's apartment] Hey Rach, you wanna go get coffee?
Rachel Green : Oh! I would love to.
Phoebe Buffay : [excited] Oh good!
Chandler : [to Monica] I'm gonna go too, babe.
[Chandler kisses Monica and gets up]
Monica Geller : OK.
Phoebe Buffay : [pleased] Oh good!
[Rachel, Chandler and Phoebe continue muttering and Phoebe holds the door open as two of them exit the apartment]
Phoebe Buffay : Oh I changed my mind.
[Phoebe closes the door, goes over to the table and takes a list out of her handbag]
Phoebe Buffay : [shows the list to Monica] Let's talk about the party. I have so many ideas!
Monica Geller : [excited] Oh! Me too!
[Monica gets a large black folder from under the sink]
Phoebe Buffay : [impressed] Oh! Look at that!
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Phoebe Buffay : What happened to the intimate dinner party?
Monica Geller : [hastily turns the pages in the black folder] You know, we're not doing that. OK?
Phoebe Buffay : [disappointedly puts her list of ideas on the table and gets up] Looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot *co host*.
[Phoebe walks past Monica who turns around]
Monica Geller : [assuring] What? "Took care of everything?" There's plenty of things for you to do.
Phoebe Buffay : [arms folded, not convinced] Uh-huh. Like what?
[short pause]
Monica Geller : [perks up] Cups!
Phoebe Buffay : [still not convinced] Cups? You're giving me cups?
Monica Geller : [assuring] And *ice*!
Phoebe Buffay : [sarcastically] Cups and ice? Oh I get to be in charge of cups and ice?
[this gives Phoebe an idea]
Phoebe Buffay : [more determined] All right. Fine. OK. I *will* be in charge of cups and ice.
Monica Geller : Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant...
Phoebe Buffay : [quickly interrupts with her right hand raised] I got it! MINE!
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Phoebe Buffay : [to Chandler] Hey! Check it out: Cup hat...
[Phoebe points to the decorated cup hat she's wearing]
Phoebe Buffay : ...cup banner, cup chandelier...
[Phoebe points around the room]
Phoebe Buffay : ...and the thing that started it all...
[Phoebe holds up a cup]
Phoebe Buffay : ...the cup!
Chandler : [impressed] Great job with the cups Pheebs!
[Phoebe giggles as Monica passes by, carrying a plate with glasses]
Monica Geller : [annoyed, to Chandler] Why don't you just go out with her?
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Phoebe Buffay : [ushers Chandler to the round table upon which are three large buckets full of different types of ice] And did you notice the ice? Look! We have it all! We have crushed...
[Phoebe points at the blue bucket]
Phoebe Buffay : ...cubed...
[Phoebe points at the red bucket]
Phoebe Buffay : ...and dry. Watch...
[Phoebe pours water over the dry ice in the silver bucket and pretend-smoke rises from it]
Phoebe Buffay : [pleased] ... ah! Mystical!
Chandler : [impressed] Oh!
[Phoebe grins and a jealous Monica watches with her arms folded]
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Monica Geller : [annoyed] No one's eating my Tuscan Finger Food because they're all filling up on Phoebe's Snow cones!
Chandler : [surprised] There are *Snow cones*?
[Monica glares disapprovingly at Chandler]
Chandler : [pretending to act disgusted] Snow cones? Yuck!
[Monica sees through Chandler's pretence but changes her mind]
Monica Geller : [points to the other side of the room] Yeah go! Go! Right there!
Chandler : [hurrying off] Thank you! Thank you!
[Monica slowly walks to the round table with the three types of ice where Phoebe is]
Monica Geller : [slowly] Phoebe?
Phoebe Buffay : Hmm?
Monica Geller : [acknowledging] You really did do a nice job.
Phoebe Buffay : [proudly folds her arms] Thank you... for stating the obvious.
Monica Geller : [admittedly] I deserved that. I just want you to know that um... we ever co-host a party together and... you can do whatever you want.
Phoebe Buffay : [quite excited] You know, Joey's got a Birthday coming up.
Monica Geller : [interested] Really? What do you wanna do?
Phoebe Buffay : [eagerly] Um, OK. I'd like to be in charge of beer.
Monica Geller : [disappointed] Well then there's nothing left for *me*!
[Phoebe looks at Monica as if to say "I told you."]
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[Rachel enters the apartment]
Phoebe Buffay : Look! Look! Look!
Ross : Birthday surprise!
Everyone : [in unison] Surprise!
Rachel Green : [shocked] What? My Birthday is not for another month!
Monica Geller : [optimistic] That's the surprise!
Rachel Green : [flattered] Oh my gosh! You guys! This is so great! It's so unexpected! I mean *Chandler's* Birthday's even before mine!
[everyone stares at Chandler, who suddenly looks blank]
Everyone : [to Chandler] Surprise!
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Rachel Green : Wow! This is so... great! Look at all these... cups! This is so weird.
Phoebe Buffay : [comes over, smiling] I was in charge of cups.
Rachel Green : [gladly] Oh, OK. *Not* so weird.
[they giggle]