- Rachel Green: Wait a minute - you let Ross drive the Porsche, and when I ask, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it.
- Monica Geller: Yeah - well, he's my brother; and plus, he drives so slow, he could never hurt it.
- Dr. Ross Geller: It's a car, not a rocket ship.
- Monica Geller: Whatever. Ross, just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
- Chandler Bing: You look up in the stands, and there's your dad cheering you on - dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack.
- Monica Geller: Hey, the point is that he was at every one of your swim meets, and he was there cheering you on. OK - that's a pretty great dad.
- Chandler Bing: He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
- Monica Geller: Who is Mr. Garibaldi?
- Chandler Bing: Does it matter?
- Charles Bing: Where are you from?
- Bakersfield Guy: Bakersfield.
- Charles Bing: I'm sorry.
- Bakersfield Guy: Bakersfield!
- Bakersfield Guy: No, no - I heard; I'm just sorry.
- Charles Bing: [performing as Helena Handbasket] I feel pretty, oh so pretty / I feel pretty and witty and...
- Audience: Gay!
- Policeman #2: Your license, please.
- Dr. Ross Geller: You don't want to hear about my dream, Officer... Pretty?
- Policeman #2: It's Petty. I'll be right back with your ticket.
- Policeman #1: Your license?
- Rachel Green: Yes; here you go, Officer... Handsome.
- Policeman #1: It's Hansen.
- Phoebe Buffay: [about Monica's menu for the wedding] Is there gonna be a vegetarian option, you know, for me?
- Monica Geller: Yes, definitely.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, great - what is it?
- Monica Geller: Dancing.