Friends (TV Series)

The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding: Part 1 (2001)

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller

Quotes 

• Ross : I'm gonna say this as Monica's brother. Not as your friend.

  Chandler : So now you're not my friend?

  Ross : Not now.

  Chandler : All right.

  Ross : So i couldn't be happier cause you're marrying Monica. But if someday you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.

  Chandler : Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

  Ross : What, what? I'm just warning you. I'll hunt you down and kick your ass.

  Chandler : Ok. So now you're my friend again?

  Ross : Yes.

  Chandler : You wouldn't believe what Monica's brother just told me...

• Rachel Green : Maybe it means "Tell Monica I'm sorry I drank that kast of the milk" or maybe "Tell Monica I'm sorry I used your tweezers to pluck my nose hair"

  [Ross and Phoebe stare at Rachel] 

  Rachel Green : He does. I've seen him.

  Phoebe Buffay : Maybe he's writing to tell her he changed his name. Like "Tell Monica I'm Sorry".

  Ross : I think it means he freaked out.

  Phoebe Buffay : Don't be so negative. Isn't it possible that Sorry's in there right now.

• Ross : Chandler's missing.

  [Ross and Rachel are in Monic'a doorway. Phoebe comes up] 

  Phoebe Buffay : What's going on?

  [reading the note] 

  Phoebe Buffay : "Tell Monica I'm sorry"

  [Phoebe looks up at Ross, then back at the note, then back to Ross] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Tell her yourself.

• [Joey is starring in a World War I epic] 

  Ross : Why are you wearing sunglasses?

  Joey : Well, I figure if I wore them the guy wouldn't spit in my eyes so much when he talks.

  Ross : Yeah, and if I remember correctly, "Rayban" was the official sponsor of World War I.

  Joey : Really? Great.

• Ross : [upon seeing his parents sitting by the window at the coffee house]  Mom? Dad? What-what... what you guys doing here?

  Jack Geller : Well, you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about.

  Judy Geller : [smiling]  I certainly see what the girls like coming here.

  Ross : Why?

  Judy Geller : The sexy blonde behind the counter.

  [She waves at Gunther, who awkwardly waves back] 

  Ross : [shocked]  Gunther?

  Jack Geller : Your mother just added him to her list.

  Ross : What? Your-your list?

  Judy Geller : Yeah, the list that-of people we're allowed to sleep...

  Ross : Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is!

  Jack Geller : Come on, sit down. Have a cup of Joe.

  Ross : No, Dad , I-I can't. I'm sorry. Look, if you see Chandler, could you just tell him I'm looking for him.

  Jack Geller : And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.

  [Jack winks at Ross. Ross points at him and winks back before he exits] 

• [Ross is looking for Chandler] 

  Ross : Gunther, have you seen Chandler?

  Gunther : No, no, I haven't seen him.

  Ross : [desperate]  Oh, damn.

  Gunther : He's getting married tomorrow, right?

  Ross : Yes, yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine.

  [Ross chuckles] 

  Ross : We'll see you at the wedding.

  Gunther : [looks offended]  I wasn't invited.

  Ross : Then we'll see you the day after tomorrow.