George Burns: George Burns

Quotes 

• Blanche Morton : [to George]  Why you ought to be ashamed of yourself, taking advantage of your neighbors and your friends! Why that's downright dishonest.

  Gracie Allen : Now wait a minute, Blanche. You can't come over here and say a thing like that to George! How would you like it if I came over to your house and said things like that about my husband?

  George Burns : Thank you, dear.

• Gracie Allen : If you can have secrets from me, I can have secrets from you.

  George Burns : Secrets? What secrets have I got?

  Gracie Allen : Oh, don't play so innocent, George. How would you like it if you heard me talking to somebody on the phone, and saying "I've got something but don't tell George?" And after being happily married for 25 years, I wouldn't, but you did.

  George Burns : Whatever that is, I did that today?

  Gracie Allen : Well don't forget, two can play that game as well as I can.

• George Burns : Do you know what you're talking about?

  Gracie Allen : Well, of course I know what I'm talking about. And even if I didn't, it wouldn't be the first time.

• Harry von Zell : I'll just say this to you, Mr. Burns. I'm certainly glad I'm not working for you anymore. Why you're selfish and underhanded. You're not fit to associate with decent people!

  Gracie Allen : Now Harry, I realize you're our friend, but you can't say things like that to George. I don't even like it when my family says it!

  George Burns : Gracie, will you please stop helping me?