- Ronnie Burns: Mother, you gotta be very careful because Bonnie Sue's very upset.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, you can trust me! Most of the people I help are upset!
- George Burns: Take this new star, Sophia Loren... Did ya notice that every time you see a picture of her, she's always wearing wet clothes? They must do nothing but pour water on her!
- George Burns: You know, this country has become so foreign that it's hard to realize that it was first discovered by that great American, Christopher Columbus.
- Harry Morton: Oh, this association with Gracie has gone too far! Blanche, I am afraid that now you too are a point off-center!
- Harry Morton: George, I have something I feel you should know.
- George Burns: Oh, well, have a stool pigeon. I mean, take a chair.