Get Smart (TV Series)

Classification: Dead (1967)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : [looking at a showgirl in a skimpy outfit]  That's Dr. Steel?

  Chief : Yes. The chorus line is her cover.

  Maxwell Smart : Not much of a cover, is it?

  Chief : Max!

  Maxwell Smart : Well, I'm not dead yet, Chief.

• Dr. Steel : One must not hurry the process of scientific research, Mr. Smart.

  Maxwell Smart : Well would one remember that one is going to die at one o'clock tomorrow afternoon and I'm the one who's the one?

• Maxwell Smart : Is one of your customers a girl?

  Proprietor : [nods]  Sometimes.

  # 99 : Describe her, Max.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, I really didn't pay that much attention to her, 99. Let's see, she was about 5 foot 6, eh, soft blond hair, 38, 23, 36 measurements, deep blue eyes and delicious lips.

  # 99 : Max! She tried to poison you.

  Maxwell Smart : Well it's not all gravy, you know.

• Maxwell Smart : What are you, some kind of a nut that likes to see people die?

  Mr. Hercules : Yes, it's such a marvelous contrast to my own splendid health.

• Maxwell Smart : Well, how about a little of that wine I promised you? I had it imported. From Napa Valley, California.

  Janet : Lips that touch wine will never touch mine.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh, well that might make drinking this a little difficult

  [puts away bottle] 

• Janet : Mr. Smart, you are so handsome, so sophisticate. Je t'adore.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh, is it open?

• Maxwell Smart : There's nothing that can be done. At one o'clock Maxwell Smart will be dead. Only his legend will live on.

• Maxwell Smart : Gentlemen, this fight will have to be short. I have less than 10 minutes. And I have nothing to lose.

• Mr. Hercules : What'll it be? Carrot juice, onion juice or farkelberry juice?

  Maxwell Smart : Farkelberry juice?

  Mr. Hercules : From the bark of the farkelberry tree.

• Maxwell Smart : Chief, what happened? Did I die?

• Maxwell Smart : [Max has been handed Dr. Steel's bill]  48 dollars? For what?

  # 99 : For your life, Max!

  Maxwell Smart : But she works for Control!

  Chief : She developed this on her own time, Max.

  Maxwell Smart : But this is ridiculous. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. I'm not paying this bill, 48 dollars, that's out of the question. Forget about it. I wouldn't pay it if my life depended on it.

  Chief : It does Max, you have to take another dose of this tomorrow and she had to give it to you if you're to complete your cure.

  Maxwell Smart : 99, do you have 48 dollars you could let me have until pay day?