- Maxwell Smart: Max, pussycat!
- Maxwell Smart: Sid, it's good to see you again. You haven't changed a bit, how long has it been now?
- Sid Krimm: 15 years! You forgot? Seoul, Korea, 1952. Don't you remember? We said if we both lived through this we'd get together again, huh, pal? Well, we almost didn't make it.
- Maxwell Smart: Yeah, that was a tough bar, Sid.
- Maxwell Smart: [on regular phone at home] Listen, 99, are you free tonight?
- # 99: [on phone in Larabee's office] Oh, well I'm sitting in for Larabee but he should be back soon. What did you have in mind?
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, I don't know, I thought a few drinks, a little dancing, maybe a late supper.
- # 99: I'd love that! Shall I pick you up as usual?
- Maxwell Smart: Eh, well it's not exactly that way, 99, you see eh, there's a buddy of mine in town and eh, well he asked me if I could get him a date and I thought if you weren't doing anything tonight...
- # 99: But Max...
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, one more thing, 99, I wonder if you could get a girl for me while you're at it. Nothing special, about 5"2"", blond hair, blue eyes.
- Maxwell Smart: [99 hangs up angrily] 99?
- Maxwell Smart: [Sid has pressed a button making the ceiling net fall down on him and Max] Look Sid, you can go up in my bedroom and sleep in my bed, the sofa's a little tricky.
- Sid Krimm: The sofa's a little tricky? What's in the bed, quicksand?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, that's all I can tell ya, Sid. I work for the government and I'm on a secret mission. You believe me, don't ya?
- Sid Krimm: I believe ya.
- [picks up a book titled 'Spy stories that never grow old']
- Sid Krimm: You read a lot of these spy books. Cloak and Dagger stuff.
- Maxwell Smart: No more than anyone else who works for the government on secret missions.
- Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Sid, those girls look like KAOS.
- Sid Krimm: Yeah, yeah, chaos!
- Maxwell Smart: You don't understand what I'm talking about, they look like spies.
- Sid Krimm: Sure, sure they're spies. Maybe one of them will try to kiss me to death and I'll have to sign for help.
- Maxwell Smart: I don't understand you Sid, I'm a secret agent. I have to go. But what's your angle?
- Sid Krimm: What do you mean what's my angle? I wanna defend my country too. And you happen to be my buddy. And besides, I happen to know that every secret agent gets all the broads.
- Maxwell Smart: Gina Mittusi. For heaven's sake, I haven't seen you in a long time.
- Gina: We've never met, Mr. Smart.
- Maxwell Smart: That long, eh?