Gilmore Girls (TV Series)

The Fundamental Things Apply (2003)

Lauren Graham: Lorelai Gilmore

Photos 

Quotes 

• Emily : I just found out Sookie's pregnant.

  Lorelai : Uh huh. Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with it.

• Lorelai : So the guy's a dud?

  Rory Gilmore : Trevor's fine, I'm moronic, I bring the conversation to a crashing halt every time I speak.

  Lorelai : Where is he now?

  Rory Gilmore : In the bathroom, probably pondering my brilliant anecdote about urine mints...

  Lorelai : What?

  Rory Gilmore : You know, when people go to the bathroom and they don't wash their hands and they come out and take a mint.

  Lorelai : [gasp]  Oh my God, I've been eating those mints for years!

  [to Luke] 

  Lorelai : Hey did you know about urine mints?

• Emily : I am reduced to calling you and asking are you coming?

  Lorelai : Uh-hu.

  Emily : Is that "uh-hu, yes I'm coming" or "uh-hu, I was reading while you were talking"?

  Lorelai : [throwing things at Luke]  Tell you what, Mom. Plan on me coming, and if I don't then it'll just be more for everyone else.

  Emily : Lorelai, you know very well our dinners do not work like that. There is careful planning and shopping and preperation that goes into every meal no matter how boring or simple it may seem to you.

  Lorelai : Mom...

  [throws half a burger at Luke] 

  Luke : Hey, what...

  [Lorelai smiles] 

  Luke : Get off that phone!

  Lorelai : Oh, shoot, Mom. There's no cell phones in here. I'll call you back later. Bye.

  [hangs up/to Luke] 

  Lorelai : And when I need you. Nowhere.

  Luke : [in shock] 

• Lorelai : You've been stomping around, barking at people for days.

  Luke : I have not.

  Lorelai : Yes, Cujo, you have.

  Luke : I always talk to people like that.

  Lorelai : No, Benji, you don't.

  Luke : I'll be fine tomorrow.

  Lorelai : Really, Lassie? Why is that?

• Lorelai : Ok, just one more warning: When they showed the first motion picture over 100 years ago, it featured a train rushing toward the camera, and people were so sure the train was going to burst off the screen and crush them that they ran away in terror. Now Luke, the train is not going to leave the screen...

• Emily : You're in Yale, not Amsterdam. How you conduct yourself socially is as important as how you conduct yourself academically.

  Rory Gilmore : I promise it was very proper.

  Lorelai : Yes Mom, she had a nice Tiffany lampshade over her red light.

• Lorelai : [Referring to tulips she's planting]  I'm going to have color coming out of my yin-yang.

  Rory Gilmore : Well, then maybe you'll finally get a man.