- Chuy Castillos: [Roland is setting up a poster in the lobby] Hey, what's this?
- Roland Wilson: Oh, uh, Vincent Vale, that self-help guru, he's holding a seminar here this week, man. I read his book, 'Ready, Willing and Able', should be really good.
- Chuy Castillos: 'Ready, Willing and Able'... hey I saw that movie. On the Naughty Network! It's about this cheerleader, see, she gets separated from the team. She has to work her way across country by...
- Roland Wilson: [interrupting] Yes, well, the book is different. It has a lot of good advice, and, you know, it inspires you to get things done on your own.
- Chuy Castillos: Yeah, in a strange way, so did the movie.
- Nick DeCarlo: Ladies, I'm afraid I have a little problem. I was expecting a check to be wired and, well, I just found out that it's not going to come, and, um...
- Blanche Devereaux: And you won't be able to pay your bill right away?
- Nick DeCarlo: Well, not in the traditional sense, but I do have a proposition for you.
- Sophia Petrillo: Count me in.
- Rose Nylund: You're on.
- Blanche Devereaux: Deal.
- Nick DeCarlo: Actually, I'd like to start in your kitchen.
- Blanche Devereaux: Kinky.
- Rose Nylund: Cool.
- Sophia Petrillo: I'm hip.
- Nick DeCarlo: No, ladies, please, I want to start working in your kitchen to pay off my bill.
- Blanche Devereaux: Now, we couldn't let you do that, not a man of your stature. Maybe we could find you a job more in keeping with what you normally do.
- Rose Nylund: That's right. We could do that. What is it you normally do?
- Nick DeCarlo: I'm a gigolo.
- Blanche Devereaux: What?
- Nick DeCarlo: I'm a *gigolo*.
- Rose Nylund: [the girls look at each other then begin to laugh nervously] Oh, you had us going there for a minute. No, what do you really do?
- Nick DeCarlo: I find wealthy, older women, become romantically involved with them, and they support me with their money.
- Sophia Petrillo: I've got twenty shares of Nabisco. What would that get me?
- Rose Nylund: Oh, Blanche, bad news. Don Prescott won't be able to take you to the Yacht Club ball tonight.
- Blanche Devereaux: What? Oh, well that's what I get for lining up a blind date for the biggest event of the year. He better have one hell of an excuse.
- Rose Nylund: He died.
- Blanche Devereaux: And?
- Nick DeCarlo: [as Rose tries to convice Blanche to take this seriously, Nick hears them talking in the kitchen] Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing. I'm available tonight. I could fill in for the deceased.
- Rose Nylund: Oh, that isn't necessary Nick, all Don has to do is lie there.