User Reviews

Today was a very special day in the Morgan house, as young Nicholas was about to meet his new baby sister. Despite warnings from his friend Sam about what a nightmare siblings can be, Nick isn't too concerned. After all, it's only a baby, what harm could it do? Before long, his folks brought home the latest member of their family, baby Grace. She seemed like a normal infant, but to Nick, something about her seemed off. Was it her constant crying or that strange, almost demonic howl that often accompanied it. That night, Grace's almost inhuman wailing kept Nick up, so he went into her room to change her diaper like a good big brother, when she spat up on him, and it apparently wasn't the first time, though Mom assured him she wasn't doing it intentionally. True, these are typical things that come with new babies and to those of us who have not experienced having one in our houses, it's all perfectly normal. Nick isn't so sure. He even notices that this little newborn is capable of spelling, as she managed to spell out "Only Me" in blocks, but of course, when he tried to show Sam, the baby kicked them away. We all know how this type of scenario goes. If Nick wants to prove he's not crazy, he should leave well enough alone. Well, that may be easier said than done, for one night, he has a strange dream about Grace going into the kitchen and trashing it, then finding her in the living room watching a drag race, remote in hand. Sounds pretty strange, but you know what's even stranger. This wasn't a dream. It was all real. Grace, who can't even walk yet, managed to do all this by herself and even issued a verbal threat towards her brother. Either they've got a child prodigy or a one who is demonically possessed. Nick's parents come in to see what the hell was going on, and Nick, don't bother trying to tell them the baby did it, because that never works. They blame him for the mess and order him to clean it up. Despite nobody believing him, Nick was determined to prove Grace is more than what she seems, especially when he finds a pacifier in his box of cookies. You sure that isn't just the special prize they include? He goes to confront the baby, even tricking her into talking and surreptitiously records it.

Even the recording failed to prove Nick innocent, as it was either a crappy tape recorder or Grace managed to somehow warp her speech. Still, he pleads for his parents to believe him, even though he was coming off like a mental patient. In lieu of a shrink, Mom and Dad think it's best to send Nick to stay with his grandparents for a few days. Even though it seems like Nick is having a psychotic episode, I think his parents should at least talk to him and hear his feelings about the new baby, or maybe they did and just didn't include it into the story. Anyway, so determined was Nick to prove that the thing in the crib upstairs was not their baby, he called their doctor and told him he'd made a mistake, and he requested the parents come meet him that night. Ooh, guess who's gonna have to babysit Grace as a punishment? Well, even if they do look at it that way, would these two really entrust their new baby to their son, because the think he's doing all this to spite her and they think he's clearly out of his mind, so would they logically want to leave him in charge? Yes, they do, for two reasons: 1) They're stupid, and 2) This is a horror story about a demonic baby, so of course we need to have it alone in the house with her prey. At this point, even Sam thinks her friend is Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but she agrees to help him sit the diminutive monster... that is, until she discovers bite marks on her CDs, which Nick tries in vain to blame on the baby, at which point Sam books it. It's like in every scene she's in, she makes fun of Nick and then leaves, some friend she is. So now, Nick is stuck in the house alone, in the dark, left to fend for himself. He finds that the little demon had escaped the confines of her room by chewing through the baby gate, and we get a long sequence of the boy searching all over the house, finding rooms trashed and doors shutting by themselves. Oh, I'll bet his folks will be steamed when they get home and see this mess. They were surprised alright, but the even bigger surprise is that they discovered Nick was telling the truth all along. How did they find that out? Turns out the call Nick made to the doctor proved fruitful, as he DID give them the wrong baby after all. Who'd-a-thunk it? His folks apologize for doubting him, and Grace's real parents, who I'm guessing are either other worldly monsters, or lawyers, came to get her, and the Morgans are given their REAL baby girl, Chloe. So good, all was well now, right? Of course not, it's a Goosebumps story, remember? That baby Chloe has a real mouth on her.

Baby Chloe and Baby Grace... Chloe and Grace? Thank God their last name wasn't Moretz. Anyway, for what it's worth, Strained Peas is a very interesting Goosebumps story, named so after the horrific pile of vomit issued up by Baby Grace. It's too bad Nick didn't say, "the power of Christ compels you" when she did it. Anyone who gets a new baby sibling can relate to Nick, unless of course that baby turns out to be evil incarnate. It's your typical story of an otherwise innocent being doing horrible things and nobody believes the only witness to the crime. Parents never believe their children. Now if this story were made today, Nick would catch Grace with his camera phone and put an end to her right there. I recommend both the book and TV episode of Strained Peas, as they're well-written and there's plenty of good suspense, it was like Look Who's Talking crossed with The Exorcist.