- Mr. Robertson: You're a pig lawyer?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [hating to be called that] I resent...
- Lisa Douglas: There's nothing to resent. He's the best pig lawyer in the entire state!
- Lisa Douglas: [Oliver tells her to stop interrupting] He always treats me like a child. Except on Saturday nights when I mix the martinis.
- Mr. Haney: In the words of Duke Kakanaki, "Aloha nui wah hoo lalani" - which means: May your bed be filled with broken coconut shells.