- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [trying to explain to Lisa why she can't go] No, it's not a stag party. It's a farm symposium.
- Lisa Douglas: What's a symposium?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Well, a lot of men sit around a long table and-...
- Lisa Douglas: And the girl comes out of the cake.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: No. No girl comes out of a cake!
- Lisa Douglas: What does she come out of?
- Lisa Douglas: Oliver?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [reading, and not listening] Mm-hmm.
- Lisa Douglas: I want to talk to you.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [reading, and not listening] Mm-hmm.
- Lisa Douglas: Are you listening?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [reading, and not listening] Mm-hmm.
- Lisa Douglas: [testing him] The baby's coming.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [reading, and not listening] That's nice.
- Lisa Douglas: You better go and boil some water.
- [He absent mindedly leaves while still reading]
- Lisa Douglas: He's a good man to have around in a crisis.
- [shakes head, and follows to kitchen]
- Lisa Douglas: Oliver?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Hmm?
- Lisa Douglas: What are you doing?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [Still reading] Boiling some hot water.
- Lisa Douglas: What for?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [Still reading] You're going to have a baby.
- Lisa Douglas: I already had it. Would you mind heating up some milk?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [Still reading] Sure.
- [Finally realizes what she's been saying]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What do you mean you had a baby?
- Lisa Douglas: I knew you weren't listening.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Well, Mr. Haney.
- Mr. Haney: I just stopped by to congratulate you. Is it a boy or a girl?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: A boy or a girl?
- Mr. Haney: Oh, you don't know yet. Well, it don't matter. The little tyke will soon sleep happily in this magnificent cradle.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What the...?
- Mr. Haney: It was originally slept in by Benjamin Franklin, in his earlier years, of course.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What are you talking about?
- Mr. Haney: The infant that Mrs. Douglas presented you with.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What makes you think that Mrs...
- Mr. Haney: Everybody in the valley heard her hollering for you to boil hot water last night.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: How could they have heard that?
- Mr. Haney: Whenever the wind blows in just the right direction, you can hear everything that goes on here.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Mr. Haney, no matter what you think...
- Tony Ashley: Mr. Douglas, I just fed Eleanor.
- Mr. Haney: Oh, Eleanor! Then it's a girl.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Eleanor is the cow's name.
- Mr. Haney: And you named the baby after her. How touching.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Mr. Haney, my wife did not have a baby.
- Mr. Haney: Then why did you hire this English nanny?