- Eustace Charleton Haney: [showing the Moon rocks on the back of his truck] Them two big ones are Mars rocks.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Mars rocks?
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Hurled at me by an unfriendly flying saucer.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh, boy!
- Lisa Douglas: They don't look like the ones we have.
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Uh, that's because most of these come from the dark side of the moon.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh? How were they found?
- Eustace Charleton Haney: With a flashlight.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Can I ask you something? What would make a rock beep?
- Wilson: [dismissing Oliver as a kook] I'd say about three martinis.
- Dr. Barton Stuart: [look at X-ray of the supposed moon rock] Nothing in it. It's all rock.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Are you sure?
- Dr. Barton Stuart: Positive.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Why, that's impossible. I heard it beep!
- Dr. Barton Stuart: [begins writing prescription] I tell you what. The beeping will stop in a couple of days if you'll just take two of these every hour.