- Eb Dawson: Mind if I have lunch with you kids?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What do you got there?
- Eb Dawson: The hamburger Stuffy brought back.
- [cut to Stuffy the scarecrow]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: How can he bring back a hamburger when he...
- Eb Dawson: [turns to Stuffy] You forgot the ketchup!
- [turns back to Oliver]
- Eb Dawson: Boy, sometimes I think he's got sawdust in his head.
- Hank Kimball: There's been three saucer sightings in these parts in the last month! Well, actually, there were only two. Eh, one was a flying shoebox sighting.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Shoebox?
- Hank Kimball: Well, it was shaped like a shoebox, only bigger. It was oblong, had a lotta windows, and there were about 50 people inside. Turned out to be a low flying bus.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [advising Eb not to tell the newspaper his UFO story] You know, it's all right to tell the two of us about your wild hallucinations, but if this gets into print, it's going to confirm what a lot of people have always thought: you're a dingbat.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: The next time you have a picnic...
- [blows out a candle]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: ... bring some food!
- Lisa Douglas: Well, if you're hungry, I turn on the radio.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What good will that do?
- Lisa Douglas: Maybe you'll hear something good to eat.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [to Eb] Now here's a real UFO: Unidentified Food Object.
- Lisa Douglas: Just for that, no more hotcakes!
- [takes the hotcake and puts it on a pile]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: You do love me!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Lisa, why did you make four different pots of coffee? Why didn't you just put the sugar bowl and the cream pitcher on the table?
- Lisa Douglas: [matter of factly] I broke them.
- Lisa Douglas: My husband was in the airforce, too.
- Lieutenant Bennett: Yes, eh, he told me. Eb, when you...
- Lisa Douglas: His uniform didn't fit as good as yours. His was baggy in the seat.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: That was my parachute.