- Claudia Finnerty: You just need to decide what's more important, alright? Making Dean miserable or making Brad happy.
- Lily Finnerty: I just wish I could do both.
- Claudia Finnerty: Yeah. Right now, you're doing neither.
- Lily Finnerty: I know. Poor Brad. You don't think he'd ever actually dump me, do ya?
- Claudia Finnerty: Maybe. I mean, c'mon. There's only so much abuse a guy can take before he walks.
- Lily Finnerty: Even Brad ?
- Claudia Finnerty: Even Brad.
- Lily Finnerty: Brad, I'm sorry.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: Well, that's it?
- Lily Finnerty: I'm really sorry.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: Oh. So if you just add 'really' that makes a world of difference.
- Lily Finnerty: Well, I, uh...
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: No, no. I know. You thought I'd say fine, like I always say fine. You do something horrible. You say sorry. I say fine and then we go back to the way it's always been. It's not enough this time.
- Lily Finnerty: What can I do?
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: You can treat me like I deserve to be treated. Listen, I know I'm not the coolest guy in the world. I know I'm not the smoothest guy or the tallest guy, but I want you to treat me like I am all those things.
- Lily Finnerty: You want me to treat you like you're the tallest guy in the world.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: Lily, you know what I mean.
- Lily Finnerty: But, you're not the tallest guy. I mean, that's a fact.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: I know. But in your eyes, I want to be seven feet tall.
- Lily Finnerty: Fine. Still wouldn't be the tallest guy in the world, though.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: I just... I just want to be the one who matters the most.
- Lily Finnerty: You do, Brad! If I've taken you for granted, it's because I'm an idiot. But it won't happen again. Because I love you.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: You do?
- Lily Finnerty: Of course! What did you think?
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: One, you've never said it.
- Lily Finnerty: Sure, I have!
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: No, no. I've said it. And you've agreed. You said "uh-huh" and "all right, then". And "we're going to be late". But you've never actually said the words.
- Lily Finnerty: Well, I have now.
- Bradley 'Brad' O'Keefe: All right, then.
- Claudia Finnerty: That's not funny! You knew I had a head!
- Sean Finnerty: Of course I did, babe! That's where all the noise comes from!
- Claudia Finnerty: That's not funny!
- Sean Finnerty: That's Eddie's line.
- Eddie Finnerty: What's *she* mad about?
- Sean Finnerty: Come on, you mocked our whole life!
- Eddie Finnerty: You're the one who told me I should take my material from life!
- Sean Finnerty: *Your* life!
- Eddie Finnerty: I don't have a life!
- Dean Piramatti: [Talking about his new girlfriend] Yeah, she's great, isn't she? That belt she's wearing? She made that!
- Lily Finnerty: [Sarcastically] Wow! Don't let her get away!
- Dean Piramatti: I'm not gonna!
- Lily Finnerty: If she tries, you can always grab her by the belt!
- Claudia Finnerty: [Discussing Eddie's new comedy act] That's insulting! You knew I had a head!
- Sean Finnerty: Of course, babe! That's where all the noise comes from!
- [Claudia reacts angrily]
- Sean Finnerty: That's Eddie's line!