The Fantasticks (1964 TV Movie)

Bert Lahr: Hucklebee

Quotes 

• Hucklebee : There is a great many things I could tell you about myself. I was once in the navy - that's where I learned horticulture.

• Hucklebee : Now I decided you need to be married, so I went wife shopping and I found you a pearl!

  [from the other side of the wall Luisa gasps] 

  Hucklebee : There's that sound again.

  Matt : What if I prefer a diamond?

  Hucklebee : How dare you prefer a diamond when I just offered you a pearl!

• Bellomy : If they knew we wanted them to wed...

  Hucklebee : A pre-arranged marriage...

  Bellomy : They'd sooner be dead.

  Hucklebee : Children...

  Bellomy : Lovers...

  Hucklebee : Fantasticks...

  Bellomy : Geese!

• Hucklebee : How clever we are...

  Bellomy : How crafty I know...

  Hucklebee : To manipulate children...

  Bellomy : You merely say, "No".

• [El Gallo has presented his itemized bill for his fake abduction of Luisa to Bellomy and Hucklebee] 

  Luisa : You mean it wasn't real - the bandit, the moonlight?

  Hucklebee : We arranged it.

  Luisa : But the feud...

  Matt : And the wall...

  Bellomy : Built to fall.

  Matt : I don't believe it.

  [hands Matt the bill] 

  Hucklebee : Read on MacDuff.