- Martha Jane Conroy: What happened to me? Well, what do you think?
- Paladin: As I remember it, you never drank while you were working.
- Martha Jane Conroy: That was before Ned Blackstock took to looking for younger women.
- Paladin: Oh, then you resigned to the bottle and Ned had to find himself another girl.
- Martha Jane Conroy: Well you know, we all ain't got but one life to waste.
- Paladin: Jane, I have heard of doctors who consider drinking a sickness.
- Martha Jane Conroy: And what do I pay them with? The grateful sigh of a pure maiden?
- Paladin: [Paladin is about to reread From Deadwood to Buckingham Palace, a True Saga of Calamity Jane. He laughs heartily] You know, once, on a long train ride, I translated this thing into Latin 'cos it was so unreadable in English.
- Martha Jane Conroy: Paladin, don't leave me. You don't know what it's been like. It's the pain. You see, ever since I've been struck with a cannonball, oh, at the Battle of Plait River. Oh, there ain't nothing that'll take away the fearful agony but whiskey.
- Paladin: That what the doctors told you?
- Martha Jane Conroy: The doctors? The doctor said it was a flaming miracle I could walk at all. And would I please let them carve on me so they could study the queer workings of benevolent providence.