"Have Gun - Will Travel" The Puppeteer (TV Episode 1960) - Crahan Denton as Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug)

Paladin : I'd be obliged to you for a ride.

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : I'd be obliged if you'd drive these miracles of nature for me.
Paladin : Now what kind of toy is that?

[a miniature guillotine]

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : I'm a lonely man, Mr Paladin. Grant me a few childish amusements.

Paladin : All free amusements and no magic potions to sell?

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : There are men in the world who'll receive adequate reward from the happy laughter of innocent children.

Paladin : That's true, Burnaby. But you're not one of them.

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : Oh, what leads you to that shocking conclusion?

Paladin : For one thing, this.

[Paladin produces his card]

Paladin : You been picking my pockets, Burnaby? And for another thing, this!

[the head of a puppet that resembles Croft]

Paladin : Now, Burnaby, you didn't come all this way to meddle in state politics?

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : Politics? I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
Paladin : The Indian girl on whose agonies General Croft built his military reputation?

[Paladin holds the puppet representing the Indian girl]

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : She was my wife.

Paladin : I'm sorry.

Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug) : We Scots have a saying: He who loses a sixpence and his wife loses a sixpence.

Crahan Denton: Jack Burnaby (Dr. Humbug)