Home Improvement (TV Series)

A House Divided (1995)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tim : I didn't blow up the house.

• Al : [found out there was another gas leak in the house that they didn't know about or repair]  Benny! Did your aunt happen to mention that there was also a leak in the stove?

  Benny : Maybe, it's hard to understand her when she's not wearing her teeth.

  Al : You realize that there is the possibility that gas has been leaking in this house for the past half hour. the slightest spark could cause combustion.

  Benny : Hey, take it easy. I disconnected all the electrical appliances like you asked.

  Al : Ahh, well good.

  Benny : Except that lamp over there. But you don't have to worry, it's the kind that only goes on when you clap.

  Tim : [wanting to leave and not knowing the situation]  C'mon guys lets go.

  [He claps twice and the lamp turns on causing the house to blow up] 

  Tim : Let me guess, there was another leak.

  Al : The stove.

  Tim : BENNY!

• Tim : [about Benny singing in the shower]  Well, either Benny is singing or there is a sick cow in this house.

• Brad : Why aren't we having eggs?

  Tim : Benny ate them.

  Mark : Or bacon?

  Jill : Benny.

  Randy : Or toast?

  Tim : Benny.

  Jill : Who ties up the phone, puts dark laundry in with our whites, sleeps all day, sits on the couch watches T.V. all night?

  Tim : Benny.

  Brad : Who do we want out of the house?

  Brad , Tim , Mark , Jill , Randy : Benny!

• Tim : Some tool-men say "Why? ", this tool-man says "Why not? ".

  Jill : This tool-man's wife says "Why me? ".

• Tim : I need a spark plug for my disposal.

  Harry : You put a gas engine in your disposal?