House M.D. (TV Series)
Spin (2005)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Quotes
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Dr. Robert Chase : You were right.
Dr. Gregory House : Now there were three wasted words.
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Dr. Gregory House : You know me, hostility makes me shrink up like a... I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor.
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Dr. Gregory House : How am I supposed to practice medicine with a lawyer sitting on my shoulder?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Responsibly.
Dr. Gregory House : You know I can't do that!
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Stacy Warner : We need to talk.
Dr. Gregory House : Oh, God, are you pregnant? 'Cause I really wanna finish high school!
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Dr. Eric Foreman : This guy's been injecting himself how many times a day? All it'd take is one slip of the needle to cause an air embolus.
Dr. Gregory House : So air is keeping him from breathing air. Let's go with that for the irony.
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Dr. James Wilson : [House enters the cafeteria and snatches a bag of potato chips from Wilson's tray] Is there a light somewhere that goes on when I have food?
Dr. Gregory House : Green for food, orange for beverages, red for impure thoughts. That bulb burns out every two weeks.
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Dr. Gregory House : [House takes a forkful of food from Mark's plate] When you save someone's life, they owe you forever.
Mark Warner : You're right, take Stacy. Oh, wait! She'd probably just leave you all over again!
Dr. Gregory House : How's your recovery going? Gotten around to the *small* muscles yet?
Mark Warner : It's not the size of the muscle, it's where you get to *put* it.
Stacy Warner : My goodness, it's like watching Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward in the third grade.
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[Houses' patient has just collapsed]
Dr. Gregory House : This is exactly why I created nurses. Clean up on aisle three!
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Dr. Gregory House : Go forth and scan his neck.
Dr. Robert Chase : His neck?
Dr. Gregory House : Or repeat everything I say in question form.
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Dr. James Wilson : You really, really need to get some...
Dr. Gregory House : [cutting him off] Oh I get some "some" all the time. That's why I always need to borrow "some" money.
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Chase] I love when you do both sides of the conversation. It's like white noise, it's very peaceful.
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Dr. Gregory House : What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short shorts?
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Dr. Gregory House : This is why I created nurses. Clean up on aisle 3!
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Jeff Forrester : Ow.
Dr. Gregory House : You're healed. Rise and walk.
Jeff Forrester : Are you insane?
Dr. Gregory House : In the bible they just said, "Yes, Lord" and then start right in on the praising.
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Jeff Forrester : What did you do?
Dr. Gregory House : What did you do, Lord?