I Love Lucy (TV Series)
First Stop (1955)
Vivian Vance: Ethel Mertz
Quotes
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Ethel Mertz : [while everyone else is asleep, Lucy drives in a circle back to the run-down motel they earlier had decided to leave] Oh, we're not back in the same place!
Lucy Ricardo : We are, unless there's a chain of these across the country.
Fred Mertz : Oh, no.
Ethel Mertz : Lucy!
Lucy Ricardo : Well, I was only trying to help. I saw a sign that said, 'Good accomodations, good food', and an arrow saying 'Take this road', and somehow I wound up back here.
Ricky Ricardo : Well, as long as we're here, we're in no condition to continue. We'll stay right here.
Ethel Mertz : Here?
Fred Mertz : In Lower Slobovia?
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George Skinner : What'll it be?
Lucy Ricardo : Well, I think I'll have the steak sandwich, rare, with a french fries.
Ethel Mertz : Uh, steak sandwich, I'll have that too.
Fred Mertz : I'll have the same.
Ricky Ricardo : Me too.
George Skinner : We're all out of steak sandwiches.
Lucy Ricardo : Oh, you are?
Ethel Mertz : Gee, I had a mouth all set for one.
Lucy Ricardo : Yeah. Well, I think I'll have the... roast beef, rare, with a baked potato, then.
Ethel Mertz : Roast beef, that's for me.
Fred Mertz : I'll vote for that.
Ricky Ricardo : Make it four.
George Skinner : We're out of roast beef too.
Ricky Ricardo : [looking at the menu] Well let me see here... hey! That fried chicken with biscuit sounds good.
Lucy Ricardo : [to George] Any point in running that chicken around the table?
George Skinner : All out.
Lucy Ricardo : Well look, we're going at this thing all wrong. Why don't you just tell us what you have, and then we'll order.
George Skinner : All-righty. How about the specialty of the house?
Lucy Ricardo : What's that?
George Skinner : A cheese sandwich.
Ethel Mertz : A cheese sandwich? Is that all you've got?
Fred Mertz : I don't feel like a cheese sandwich!
George Skinner : Well now, come on folks, I can't wait around all night. What would you like?
Lucy Ricardo : The name of the nearest good restaurant.
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Lucy Ricardo : [after the Mertzes offer to trade beds with the Ricardos, Ethel goes through an elaborate, exhaustive preparation process to make the mattress usable; this includes stuffing pillows and other objects behind Fred in the trench the mattress makes, and tying Fred's nightshirt to the bed-frame to keep him in place] You do that EVERY NIGHT?
Ethel Mertz : [Disgusted] Yeah... but it took years of practice.