The IT Crowd (TV Series)

Aunt Irma Visits (2006)

Chris O'Dowd: Roy Trenneman

Quotes 

• Jen : I've got Aunt Irma visiting

  Moss : Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that.

  [Roy is shaking his head. He's confused] 

  Jen : It's my term for my time of the month.

  [the realization dawns on Roy] 

  Roy : Oh.

  Moss : What time of the month? The weekend?

  Jen : No.

  Moss : Does Aunt Irma visit on the weekend?

  Jen : You know, its high tide.

  Moss : But, we're not on the coast.

  Roy : Moss!

  Jen : I'm closed for maintenance.

  Moss : Closed for maintenance?

  Roy : Moss!

  Jen : I've fallen to the Communists.

  Moss : Well, they do have some strong arguments.

  Roy : [finally putting it to words]  'Carrie', Moss! First scene in 'Carrie'!

  [Moss finally understands] 

  Moss : Ohh... Okay, yep, yep, yep, no, nope, nope, yep, nope, naaaah...

  [Moss walks out of the room, embarrassed] 

• Roy : Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

  [pause] 

  Roy : Have you tried sticking it up your arse?

• Denholm Reynholm : [a group of Reynholm Industries employees are stood in a circle. Denholm walks into the room and into the middle of the circle whirling his hand in the air]  Alright! Ok!

  [the crowd begin cheering] 

  Denholm Reynholm : Alright! Yes! Ok! I know you want a party but I have to say thank you to a few people after what has been a momentous week for this company.

  [Crowd cheers] 

  Denholm Reynholm : Project Icarus has increased our productivity tenfold, every department is working at 3 times usual speed due to the increased interconnectivity of our computer system!

  [Crowd cheers and Denholm goes around the circle giving high-5's to everyone and slaps Roy in the face] 

  Denholm Reynholm : How can I talk about all that computer stuff

  [pointing at the IT team] 

  Denholm Reynholm : , all of that computer gobbledegook without saying a word about the lawyers?

  [Points to the lawyers and the crowd cheers] 

  Denholm Reynholm : They cut the red tape, they cut the red tape, they cut the red tape. C'mon, yes!

  [Crowd cheers and Denholm gives piggyback to one of the lawyers, who goes around the circle giving high-5's to everybody and slaps Roy in the face] 

  Denholm Reynholm : That's enough

  [Denholm drops the lawyer] 

  Denholm Reynholm : . And when you're talking about computers

  [pointing at the IT team again] 

  Denholm Reynholm : , how can you fail to mention accounts!

  [Points to the account team] 

  Denholm Reynholm : Yes!

  [Crowd cheers] 

  Jen : He's building up to us, he must be.

  Denholm Reynholm : Yes! And finally, last but not least - champagne.

  [Whilst refilling Jen, Roy and Moss' glasses] 

  Denholm Reynholm : These 3 people proved time and again that they have 'the right stuff'. The toilet cleaners!

  [Whilst crowd cheers] 

  Denholm Reynholm : They said we couldn't do it, they said outsourcing our toilet cleaning would be inefficient. Dirt, Banhead and Doodles proved them wrong.

  Doodles - the Cleaner : Toilet!

  Denholm Reynholm : That's right Doodles

  [crowd cheers] 

  Jen : Where are you going?

  [as Roy and Moss walk out] 

  Roy : They do this every time.

  Moss : They never remember us.

  Jen : But you did the work, we did all the work