Inside the Actors Studio (TV Series)
The Simpsons (2003)
James Lipton: Self - Host
Quotes
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James Lipton - Host : [talking to Nancy doing Bart] You seem to like calling Moe's Tavern.
[Nancy smirks at Hank]
James Lipton - Host : Do you recall any of the more popular names that you and Lisa have used in those phone calls?
Hank Azaria : [as Moe] Wait a minute, that was you?
[audience laughter]
Nancy Cartwright : I'll just give him a call. Hello? Ring a ding ding.
Hank Azaria : Yeah, Moe's Tavern. What?
Nancy Cartwright : Yeah, I'm looking for a fellow. Last name "Sexual," first name "Homer."
Hank Azaria : Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is there a Homer Sexual here?
[audience laughter]
Hank Azaria : Hey, what? Oh, that little...
James Lipton - Host : [laughing] You never fail at that, do you, Bart?
Nancy Cartwright : Wait a second, hold on. Redial. Hello? Ring a ding ding.
Hank Azaria : [improvising wildly] Yes, Moe's Tavern, home of the world's smallest large screen TV.
[audience laughter]
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James Lipton - Host : Mr. Burns?
Harry Shearer : [as Mr. Burns] Yes?
James Lipton - Host : What is your occupation?
Harry Shearer : Mogul.
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : Tell me, if you will, how you feel about your employee, Homer Simpson.
Harry Shearer : Who?
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : Homer Simpson. You know, the guy who falls asleep at the safety desk?
Harry Shearer : [as Smithers] He's, uh, one of your drones in sector 7-G, sir.
[quickly switching back to Burns]
Harry Shearer : Oh, yes!
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James Lipton - Host : [about Harry's college years] What did you study there?
Harry Shearer : Political science. But the real answer to your question is "as little as possible."
[audience laughter]
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James Lipton - Host : In the past two decades, very few movies have made me laugh as hard as "This is Spinal Tap."
[audience cheers and applause]
James Lipton - Host : Who wrote that movie?
Harry Shearer : Uh, the answer to that question is every actor who appears in it wrote that movie.
James Lipton - Host : Who wrote the songs?
Harry Shearer : We all did.
James Lipton - Host : You did.
Harry Shearer : Yes.
James Lipton - Host : Music and words?
Harry Shearer : Music and words.
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James Lipton - Host : Rough estimate, how many times have you said "drinks on the house"?
Hank Azaria : [as Moe] Approximately... never.
[audience laughter]
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Julie Kavner : [as Marge] I have more than one G-spot.
James Lipton - Host : [laughing] Really? And where might the other one be?
Dan Castellaneta : [as Homer] Yeah, Marge, tell me!
[audience laughter]
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James Lipton - Host : Apu?
Hank Azaria : [as Apu] What is it?
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : I haven't the courage even to try and pronounce your last name. Would you say it for me?
Hank Azaria : Everyone has such difficulty with this, and I don't understand it. It is "Nahasapeemapetilon". It sounds exactly the way it is spelled.
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : What is your country of origin?
Hank Azaria : I am from India.
James Lipton - Host : Aha. And your immigration status?
Hank Azaria : I believe I was a semi-legal alien.
James Lipton - Host : [laughing] Semi? Semi-legal alien? What is the name of your store?
Hank Azaria : It is the Kwik-E-Mart.
James Lipton - Host : That makes it sound like a convenience store. How do you make it truly convenient for your customers?
Hank Azaria : I keep the beer next to the salty snacks, and things like this. There is really an art. There is an art, James.
James Lipton - Host : Oh, yeah. I know that convenience stores can be either inexpensive or expensive, because of the convenience. Let's take a little poll here. How much is a twenty-nine cent stamp at the Kwik-E-Mart?
Hank Azaria : A twenty-nine cent stamp, I believe, is... a dollar eighty-nine.
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : How much would two dollars worth of gas be?
Hank Azaria : That's four twenty.
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : Four twenty.
Hank Azaria : Yeah.
James Lipton - Host : And tell me, how much is the penny candy?
Hank Azaria : Surprisingly expensive.
[audience laughter]
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James Lipton - Host : Moe?
Hank Azaria : [as Moe] Yeah, what?
James Lipton - Host : I have never been privileged to have any Duff beer. Does it come in a variety of...?
Hank Azaria : Yeah, there's a lot of Duff beer. There's Duff, there's Duff Lite, there's Duff Dark, there's Duff Dry, uh, there's raspberry Duff, there's tartar control Duff.
James Lipton - Host : Really?
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James Lipton - Host : As a Simpson character on one wonderful, brief occasion, I am proud of my cartoon ethnicity. Can someone tell me how the Simpsons characters became yellow?
Yeardley Smith : I can.
James Lipton - Host : Please.
Yeardley Smith : Matt apparently thought it would be really funny if, when people watch "The Simpsons", they thought maybe the color on their TV was off.
[audience laughter]
Yeardley Smith : So, and that they were trying to get the flesh tone on the Simpsons. But they just couldn't. "They're still yellow. What's going on?"
James Lipton - Host : Why did I, why does every cartoon character have only three fingers?
Hank Azaria : That's animation tradition.
Nancy Cartwright : It's because it's cheaper.
[audience laughter]
James Lipton - Host : Well, just think over the years how many millions of dollars have been saved by not putting in that pinkie.
Nancy Cartwright : That's it. It's time. Seriously.
James Lipton - Host : Why does everybody on the show have an overbite?
Hank Azaria : That's a Groening-esque art thing.
James Lipton - Host : That was Groening?
Yeardley Smith , Hank Azaria , Nancy Cartwright , Dan Castellaneta : Yeah.
Dan Castellaneta : He says it's a world without chins.
[audience laughter]