Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)
Back to the Garden (2004)
Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi
Quotes
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Groundskeeper God : Sometimes when you're lost, it's an opportunity to cultivate a new place for yourself.
Joan Girardi : And this is supposed to inspire me? The Charlie Brown Christmas tree of metaphors?
[he just stares]
Joan Girardi : You want me to take care of this?
[no response]
Joan Girardi : Remember when you used to tell me to go try out for the cheerleaders? What happened to that?
Groundskeeper God : If it's an assignment you want, you better get to Physics. You're late.
Joan Girardi : Whose fault is that?
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Joan Girardi : Sorry I'm late. I had a... a thing.
Ms. Lischak : And I, in turn, was marking a late "thing" in my book. Coincidence? Or one event determined by separate indeterminate actions? Hmm.
Joan Girardi : Am I supposed to know what she said?
Adam Rove : Oh, I wasn't listening. Um, I was looking at you.
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Friedman : Hey. Where's my Judith?
Joan Girardi : Friedman, the kiss meant nothing. She was drunk.
Friedman : You sweet, naïve child.
-
Joan Girardi : Did you really skip the whole day?
Judith Montgomery : Oh, Danny got his parents' convertible. We went for a drive.
Adam Rove : Well, Danny's been in the tenth grade for three years.
Judith Montgomery : He was kind of a moron.
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Joan Girardi : You think you'll survive out here all alone? You're pathetic. You're me.
Loner Loser Kid God : It needs water. And you should turn the soil.
Joan Girardi : Why don't you, if you're so concerned, foghead?
Loner Loser Kid God : It's your assignment, Joan. You asked for it.
Joan Girardi : [realizing who it is] This is a new look for you.
Loner Loser Kid God : Yeah. I mean, the jeans are really comfy.
-
Adam Rove : Hey.
Joan Girardi : [surprised] Oh! I'd... I'd stay away. I'm kind of caked with fertilizer, and we all know what that's made of.
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Loner Loser Kid God : It was a cool garden, Joan. And I loved the fire spear.
Joan Girardi : [meaning Judith] Is she gonna be okay?
Loner Loser Kid God : She was planting crocuses and tulips. It doesn't matter if the ground gets bulldozed, 'cause they'll still come up in the spring. She knew that.
Joan Girardi : So what I was growing...
Loner Loser Kid God : Grew.
-
Joan Girardi : Hey.
Adam Rove : Hi. I uh... I made you a tree for the garden.
Joan Girardi : Are those cigarette butts?
Adam Rove : Yeah. I-I dipped them in leftover Slushies. The sugar makes killer glue.
-
Joan Girardi : What are the yellow thingies?
Grace Polk : They're mums. They bloom in the fall, attract the bees, the bees polinate the non-flowering shrubs, which keep the aphids from eating other plants.
[seeing her expression]
Grace Polk : What?
Joan Girardi : You researched all that?
Grace Polk : One episode of one show on the Home and Garden Channel. Don't make me regret this.