The John Larroquette Show (TV Series)

Celibate! (1993)

John Larroquette: John Hemingway

Quotes 

• [a kid with a multi-colored mohawk sits down across from John] 

  Kid : What are you looking at, old man? You've never done anything crazy?

  John Hemingway : Yeah, twenty years ago, I slept with a parrot. Just wondering if you might be my kid.

• Gene : You're a pretty smart guy, you know anything about medicine?

  John : A little, I guess. Yeah, what's up?

  Gene : Good. Does that look normal to you?

  [Gene pulls out his genitals] 

  John : Just the white part.