The John Larroquette Show (TV Series)

The Unforgiven (1993)

John Larroquette: John Hemingway

Photos 

Quotes 

• John : There's two old ladies, one of these nasty little poodles, and me in an elevator in New York. So, the poodle relieves himself on my leg. In my drunken state, I figure turnabout's fair play.

• John : Alright, that's it, Gene, you've gotta clean up that men's room! Something bit me in there!

  Gene : It's not that bad.

  John : Not that bad? The flies are holding their breath!

  Gene : Well, I can call one of those cleaning services.

  John : You're the janitor, I'm the manager. I'm telling you, clean it up.

  Gene : You just don't get it, do you, John?

• John : Bonjour.

  Lori : Bon Jovi.

• Carly : Eighteen jelly doughnuts to go.

  John : Eighteen jelly doughnuts?

  Carly : They're for a client, his special request.

  [John devilishly grins] 

  Carly : Don't look at me like that, you've got such a dirty mind! He just sits on them and we talk.

• John : I showed up drunk at a briss, and I yelled, "Stop that man, he's got a knife," and I tacked the rabbi.

  Lori : What's a briss?

  John : Well, when they sn... Trust me, I did the right thing.

• John : I could have you arrested, you know.

  Lori : Right. And I'll tell the cops that I was at your place last night. You wanna play some more?