The John Larroquette Show (TV Series)

The Unforgiven (1993)

Louis Mustillo: Thief

Quotes 

• Thief : Hey, I really gotta go to the bathroom.

  Dexter : Tough!

  Gene : Oh, man! I can't let him stay like that!

  Dexter : Why not?

  Gene : One time when I was a kid, I got stuck like that in the back of my old man's car. He wouldn't stop, and I thought I was gonna burst!

  Dexter : What happened?

  Gene : I burst. Wrecked the backseat of a '64 Plymouth and nearly killed my sister's dog.

• Officer Adam Hampton : He got away. We have no idea who he is or where he's headed.

  Thief : Yeah, you'll never catch Jacobson. He's back on the farm in Kansas City laughing at you, and I'm never gonna talk!

  Officer Adam Hampton : Don't be too sure, pal, I'll get it outta ya somehow!

  Dexter : Two unarmed men in a battle of wits.

• [the thief was knocked out with a frying pan] 

  Thief : Oh, my head! What happened?

  Dexter : There was a big bug on your head, and Clive tried to kill it. You keep your mouth shut, I'll get you a cup of coffee and an ice bag.

  Thief : Well, that would be lovely.

  Dexter : "That would be lovely?" Man, you might as well just wear a wedding gown to prison!