- Maddy Magellan: [On her disastrous blind date to Shelford] You're really enjoying this, aren't you... watching me squirm?
- Jonathan Creek: [Deadpan] To a large extent.
- Jonathan Creek: So, do you want to know how it was done?
- Maddy Magellan: Yes!
- Jonathan Creek: That makes two of us.
- David Churchin: [Angrily to Zola] God help me, as I made you, I'll destroy you at any cost, and that's a promise!
- Maddy Magellan: [to Shelford] Look, it's not that I don't find you attractive...
- Shelford: Oh good.
- Maddy Magellan: No, that's not true. It IS that I don't find you attractive. It's no reflection on you as a person. You're very warm and kind and... generous. It's just that I can't find it in myself to want to spend another second of my life in your company. Do you understand? It could never work, not even as science fiction. You and me are a total no-no.
- Shelford: Still, it's early days, isn't it? And from little acorns, mighty oaks do grow.