- Maya Gallo: I had no idea Dagget was doing so badly.
- Jack Gallo: He's no worse than the others. But what is the point of giving an employee an evaluation if it doesn't motivate him?
- Maya Gallo: Motivate him to do what, wet himself?
- Maya Gallo: Oh, I get it. You found out I'm doing the employee evaluations.
- Nina Van Horn: What was that, sexy?
- Maya Gallo: Sorry, Nina, but flattery won't win you a good review.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, then what will?
- Maya Gallo: Doing a good job.
- Nina Van Horn: It's a little late for that, isn't it?
- Elliot DiMauro: Don't you think you're taking this honesty thing just a little too far?
- Dennis Finch: Au contraire, mon frere without hair.
- Dennis Finch: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Adrienne Barker: Ooh, we should split a grapefruit?
- Maya Gallo: I can't evaluate the staff. They're my peers. I'm one of them.
- Jack Gallo: Of course you are, my little heir to the throne.
- Dennis Finch: Yo, Kevin. How's life on the mail room?
- Kevin Liotta: I'm still *sorting* that out.
- [laughs]
- Dennis Finch: Yeah. Nice *delivery*.
- Kevin Liotta: Huh?
- Amy: Gentlemen, we are now privy to all thinks Lucas. Ooh, check it out! Character descriptions from the next movie.
- Dennis Finch: "Baki-kwa. A shark with legs and a Mexican accent." How does he do it?
- Adrienne Barker: Your friends are perverts.
- Dennis Finch: What do you mean?
- Adrienne Barker: All my underwear is gone.
- Dennis Finch: If you keep your panties in an unlocked drawer, you're dancing with the devil.
- Dennis Finch: I'm dating one of the most beautiful women in the world, and I have feelings for another woman.
- Jack Gallo: Dennis, I don't want to be involved.
- Dennis Finch: She's right outside.
- Jack Gallo: I'll pretend I'm getting a doughnut.
- Dennis Finch: That's it, I'll do something romantic.
- Jack Gallo: There you go.
- Dennis Finch: Maybe a poem.
- Jack Gallo: Nothing in writing! Well, at least avoid the phrase, "I owe you everything."
- Kevin Liotta: Hey, Finch. The guys took a vote, and we all agree that your wife is the one we most like to see wrestle Xena in the slave pit.
- Dennis Finch: Okay, let's go mingle, and tone down the drool.
- Adrienne Barker: Hello? I'm on the phone.
- Dennis Finch: Hello? Hello? Will you stop saying that? It wasn't clever ten years ago, what makes you think you have a fresh spin on it?
- Adrienne Barker: Dennis, what's the matter with you?
- Dennis Finch: Me? You're the one yakking on the phone in the middle of a romantic dinner!
- Adrienne Barker: At least I don't drone on and on about some stupid sci-fi movie!
- Dennis Finch: Any one of which you would kill to be in!
- Adrienne Barker: Yeah, but not watch a thousand times with a bowl of Lucky Charms on my lap!
- Dennis Finch: That's a cheap shot! I'm hypoglycemic!
- Adrienne Barker: You're hypo-everything!
- Dennis Finch: Then maybe I shouldn't be your husband!
- Kevin Liotta: Tanya. When my parents sent me to Dungeons and Dragons camp, I had your poster with the waterfall hanging over my bed.
- Tanya: There must be some mistake. That poster only came out last year.
- Kevin Liotta: That's the one.
- Dennis Finch: Aren't you coming to bed?
- Adrienne Barker: Hello? I have to take out my contacts, silly.
- Dennis Finch: [low, mocking voice] Hello? Your hellos are getting annoying!
- Adrienne Barker: Hello? I can't understand you when you mumble?
- [after Maya says Elliot shoots too many sunsets]
- Elliot DiMauro: Oh, by the way, why don't you come to my shoot in Miami? You can block the sun with your big giant head.
- Maya Gallo: Where did that come from?
- Elliot DiMauro: I'll warn the locals to expect an eclipse.