Wendie Malick: Nina Van Horn

Quotes 

• Nina Van Horn : I can put an end to this discussion if you agree to hire a man. This man.

  [pulls out a photo] 

  Nina Van Horn : His name is Nacho. He works at my dry cleaners, but he wants to be an actor.

  Maya Gallo : [gives photo back]  Just let me know when Amy comes in.

  Nina Van Horn : Hey, he can lick his own eyebrows!

  Dennis Finch : Here, let me see that. Hey, I've seen this dude in a movie. A movie with all dudes.

  Nina Van Horn : And why were you watching it?

  Dennis Finch : I test myself once a year. I was A-OK.

• Nina Van Horn : Oh, Maya. Your brain is thicker than a milkshake but not nearly as delicious.

• Nina Van Horn : Blush magazine is like an aquarium, where fish get together to put out a magazine.

  Maya Gallo : Listen, I have some stuff to do...

  Nina Van Horn : Just hear me out. Now in this aquarium, there are many, many different kinds of fish. There's the little goldfish like Finch; The huge octopus, which is Jack; the beautiful starfish, that would be yours truly; and the crusty barnacle, such as yourself.

  Maya Gallo : What?

  Nina Van Horn : Okay, you can be a sand worm. The point is, you bringing Amy was like bringing a black widow into our little aquarium.

  Maya Gallo : That's not even a fish!

  Nina Van Horn : Exactly! So what is she doing here?

• Nina Van Horn : Fire her, before she fires you.

  Maya Gallo : I don't think she can do that.

  Nina Van Horn : Maya, she threw her soda can in the trash. Not the recycling bin, the trash.

  Maya Gallo : She is toast!

• Nina Van Horn : Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot I was standing in the office of Wimpy McDonothing, vice-president of being crapped on.

• Nina Van Horn : I know why you're not threatened by her. Her breasts are not bigger than yours. Well, she's young. They could still be growing.