Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Please Mind Your Head (1993)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : [she and Richard are trapped, chest-to-chest, between two cabinets in a room far too small for them]  Are you going left or right?

  Richard : At the moment I don't seem to be going anywhere at all!

  Hyacinth : I don't like this level of intimacy, Richard. I don't think it's appropriate at our age. Would you please remove yourself from my person?

• Hyacinth : [the first time she attempts to ride]  Now listen, horse. I am not a person to be trifled with.

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : Richard. Is there any sign of our new furniture yet, dear?

  Richard : Not yet.

  Hyacinth : Ohhh. Ohhh, Richard, I feel it's so appropriate, our owning a place like this.

  Richard : All we own is a small apartment, and when I say small, I mean micro.

  Hyacinth : We are part owners of a mansion; that's all anyone need know. It's so lower middle class to go into details.

  Richard : The detail that concerns me is now that we've bought the place, how are we going to afford it?

  Hyacinth : Such a good address, dear. You know these things aren't primary with me, but there are people who go quite dizzy rubbing shoulders with the county elite.

• Richard : Why not just tell them that we can't ride?

  Hyacinth : I don't know that I can't ride. I've never tried. There's every possibility that I might ride beautifully - the clothes fit.

• Hyacinth : Now imagine it's the middle of the night. All right?

  [No answer] 

  Hyacinth : Richard, why aren't you answering?

  Richard : I'm imagining I'm asleep and can't hear you.

• [last lines] 

  Hyacinth : Elizabeth! Would you telephone the Emergency Services!

• Hyacinth : [after Emmet has gotten his head stuck in a hole in the wall]  Remain calm, Emmet!

  Emmet Hawksworth : [shriek]  I AM CALM, HYACINTH!

  Hyacinth : Shhhh!

  Emmet Hawksworth : [whispered shriek]  Under the circumstances, I think I am being exceptionally calm!

• Hyacinth : [Richard is having difficulty walking in his new riding boots]  Come along, Richard - keep up, dear.

  Richard : I feel as if my legs are stuck in two drainpipes!

• Emmet Hawksworth : [Hyacinth's horse won't budge despite repeated efforts on her part]  Perhaps you left the brake on, Hyacinth!

  Hyacinth : Hmmm?

  [Cracks up everyone else by actually looking for a brake] 

  Richard : In films, when they want to start a horse, they slap it on the rump.

  Richard : Well, try it gently, dear. Remember, I'm not Roy Rogers!