- Bobby Hill: [playing a propane salesman] I only sell C-3-H8. That smells like C-H4.
- Joe Jack: [dressed as a big baby] I need a new diaper. Baby did a bad, bad thing.
- Peggy Hill: [Hank laughs like crazy] It is a fart joke, Hank.
- [Hank pauses a moment, then laughs again]
- Hank: Sir, if it makes you feel any better, I also wear diapers.
- Charlie Fortner: Which brand is more absorbent?
- Hank: Uh... Well... Uh...
- Charlie Fortner: Get out!
- Hank: I am sorry, Sir. I had no idea you wore, uh... You know.
- Charlie Fortner: Say it, Hank. I wanna hear it come from your mouth.
- Hank: Diapers.
- Charlie Fortner: You only have to say it. I have to wear them and buy them.
- Hank: Honestly, Sir, nobody knew you wore those... Things.
- Charlie Fortner: A man in a diaper comes out on stage and asks me for A DIAPER!
- Hank: Now, I hope these people in your head are laughing with propane and not at it.
- Bobby Hill: Oh yeah. Not like with butane and those other bastard gases!
- Joe Jack, Bobby Hill, Donna, Luanne Platter: [singing] We're the Propaniacs, Propaniacs on the floor. And we'll make you laugh and laugh and laugh some more.