Kojak (TV Series)

Web of Death (1973)

Telly Savalas: Lt. Theo Kojak

Quotes 

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Absolutely no way the killer could've gotten past you?

  Ingram : Not through the front lobby, no, sir. Seven p.m to seven a.m. nobody enters or exits that I don't okay. Tradespeople, tenants, guests, everybody logs in and out. Everybody.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Seven to seven and no relief. You must have cement kidneys.

• Detective Nick Ferro : [Ferro invites Kojak back home for a drink]  Retsina okay?

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Retsina? You gotta be kidding. You're actually holding?

  Detective Nick Ferro : It's not exactly in big demand. Five years and I still have the same bottle you gave us for our housewarming. It doesn't spoil, does it?

  Lt. Theo Kojak : [smiles]  Spoil? You buy it rotten. You could drop a dead cat into it, it wouldn't make any difference.

• Bartender : You know, a funny thing: some joker was in here a couple of weeks ago asking about the same blonde.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Can you describe him?

  Bartender : [blows through his teeth]  Hey, women I remember, dad, but, eh, men? Well they're, eh, they're just like suits and ties to me, you know?

• Prince : [on phone]  You can put my name at the top of your Christmas list. Guess what we found in the shower drain?

  Lt. Theo Kojak : [on other line]  A redhead... Prince, you're a pussycat.

• Foster Bridges : Kojak... now that's some heavy, heavy necktie you got. I mean a cat on the loose would cop an awful lot of heavy, heavy trade with a tie like that.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Foster, you drive a hard bargain.

  [starts to take off his tie to give it to Foster] 

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Oh, Frank, it hurts. I pinned the gold on him myself.

  Capt. Frank McNeil : Theo, don't gouge yourself. He kept it polished.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Hm-hm. Until last night...

• Lt. Theo Kojak : What's the point? Where would you go? If the subway went to Outer Mongolia, I'd still come after you.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : [Polichek explains how he found a dead body because of Victrola music playing loudly]  Well it's not playing now.

  Mr. Polichek : Ja, of course, I turned it off.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : You shouldn't have done that, Mr. Polichek. Did you touch anything else?

  Mr. Polichek : [nervous]  Ja, ja, ja, of course, the doorknob.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : [to Ferro]  But I should worry, I got you and Olney on the job. I can take two weeks in the Catskills.

  Dr. Agajanian : One week. Olneys been scratched. Of course it's a long time since I probed the vitals of a living person, but a first year med student could diagnose the fact that Detective Olney has a ruptured appendix.

  Det. Olney : Sorry partner, I thought it was just a case of measles.

• Detective Nick Ferro : Well then, eh, Bridges is our boy?

  Lt. Theo Kojak : [sarcastic cuckle]  Well he can't be in two places at once, can he? And one place we know he was when Forsyth was being killed, was in the Tombs, sweating out a B and E. But the gun wasn't at the tombs. And a piece doesn't care who uses it.