L.A. Law (TV Series)

Cold Shower (1993)

Sheila Kelley: Gwen Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Uh, can we get started?

  Leland McKenzie : Just start, Douglas.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I'm started. People vs. Matz.

  [That's for Jonathan Rollins' while pouring to get a cup of coffee] 

  Jonathan Rollins : Yes. Yes. That's mine. Matz' has accused of selling stolen artwork to undercover cop. I'm pleading entrapment.

  Melina Paros : That's a tough cell.

  Daniel Morales : I know it is. You yet to stolen art in his position?

  Jonathan Rollins : He did.

  Daniel Morales : Any sold it to the cop?

  Jonathan Rollins : Yep.

  Melina Paros : So where's the entrapment?

  Jonathan Rollins : Well, my client's gay. He claims to a fallen for the cop. He also claims that it was mutual, I'd say for the purposes of his trial at least that, uh, the cop seduce him.

  Arnie Becker : In other words, it's your only shot.

  Jonathan Rollins : Yes, right.

  Ann Kelsey : Then it must me true.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : In the matter of Celeste Bauman.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yes, that's me. Uh, Ms. Bauman has accompanied that markets' vitamins and dietary supplements, the IRS claims that she has under paid her taxes by some $800,000, and for some reason to being nasty about it.

  Melina Paros : The IRS's nasty?

  Stuart Markowitz : Celeste is gonna need little managing, but I think we can resolve it.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Gwen, you're observing on to this one, correct?

  Gwen Taylor : Yep.

• Stuart Markowitz : We have tax returns for the last 10 years. Where do you want to start?

  Celeste Bauman : I didn't build my business on vitamins and nutrient supplements alone, Mr. Pick. I build it on stamina. I build it on guts. And I build it by adhering to a personal philosophy that does not allow me to become intimidated by anyone.

  Stuart Markowitz : Celeste, Mr. Pick is just trying to do his job.

  Marvin Pick : That's right, and my job is to enforce the tax code. I enforce, you comply.

  Celeste Bauman : You're not a well man, Marvin.

  [Stuart and Gwen turned to Celeste] 

  Celeste Bauman : You work in this miserable office, you drink coffee and you smoke. And your diet, it's high in fat, it's low and fiber. It's not nearly dense enough in nutrients. And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if your body wasn't ravaged by intestinal parasites.

  Marvin Pick : You know what? You're right, I drink coffee. I smoke. I only eat things that are bad for me. And with all that I'm still healthy enough to bring you to your knees. Me and my parasites.

  [Mr. Pick eating the danish] 

  Celeste Bauman : You want to know what healthy is? I'll tell you what healthy is. How old do you think I am?

  Marvin Pick : I have no idea.

  Celeste Bauman : I'm 75 years old.

  Gwen Taylor : You're 75?

  Celeste Bauman : The reason that I don't look my age is because I have a healthy, life affirming attitude toward everybody and everything. It comes from being a peace with myself. And from being at peace with the whole world. I'm 75 and I'll live to dance on this little pissant's grave. Stuart, Gwen, you know where to reach me. And I know that I shall be hearing from you very soon.

  [Celeste Bauman is going to leave now. Stuart sees Celeste leaving and turned back to Marvin]