Corbin Bernsen: Arnie Becker

Quotes 

• Patrick Flanagan : Why don't we just give him another minute?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I think not. Let's get started. Ruland vs. Wayside...

  Jonathan Rollins : Uh. uh, uh, uh, Douglas. There he is.

  [Eli has arrived by bus] 

  Leland McKenzie : OK.

  Eli Levinson : Sorry. Sorry.

  Leland McKenzie : Uh-huh.

  Eli Levinson : The buses were running late.

  Arnie Becker : You actually take a bus?

  Eli Levinson : Yes.

  Stuart Markowitz : Unbelievable, isn't it?

  Eli Levinson : It's really not that unbelievable.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : And you're doing it for some kind of ecological reason, Eli?

  Eli Levinson : I'm doing it because I don't have a driver's license. Denise is giving me lessons however, I'm inching on being ready to take the road test. And I'm about to buy a car

  Ann Kelsey : You can buy a car before you get your license?

  Eli Levinson : And to all partners just settle a case of mine is they send me a very large check. I thought I did something extravagant.

  Jonathan Rollins : What are you getting?

  Eli Levinson : I have no idea. Denise is set me up a car broker who presumably will get me through this is painlessly as possible.

  Arnie Becker : Ultimately when buying a car, keep one question uppermost in mind. How am I going to feel when I'm standing in front of a restaurant? The ballet brings me my car.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Thank you, Arnold.

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Ruland vs. Wayside Hospital.

  Jonathan Rollins : Yeah, that's mine. A 16-year-old girl found to be incorrigible by her father, is being committed to a psychiatric facility by him. She soon to be released from the facility and we're representing the father at the facility.

  Jane Halliday : What did she do?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Drugs, sex, alcohol. Well, her father feel that she's basically out of control.

  Arnie Becker : There but for the grace of God.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Askoff vs. Askoff.

  Arnie Becker : Yes, we're representing Frank Askoff, his wife is suing for the divorce also looking to disembowel him financially. Her leverages Camilla Greer.

  Stuart Markowitz : What? He's in a book?

  Arnie Becker : Yes, he is. He also runs a publicly traded corporation. He wants very much for this not to get out?

  Jane Halliday : Whose Camilla Greer?

  Ann Kelsey : She's a madam.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I'm rather well placed, madam.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I suspect there are a number people in that book who very much don't want to get out.

  Arnie Becker : Well, you frequent prostitutes, you run that risk.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I have never been the prostitute.

  Ann Kelsey : Ah, gee!

• Arnie Becker : Frank, I want to propose something. Your wife is holding up with the threat to make public, you're going to prostitute. I'd like to take an aggressive position in response.

  Frank Askoff : What do you mean?

  Arnie Becker : Number one: I deny it.

  Frank Askoff : I'm in the book.

  Arnie Becker : Maybe you are, maybe you're not. Meantime, we haven't seen the book. We don't know the book exist.

  Frank Askoff : Look, she had me tail to Camilla's house, Arnie, she knows that I went there.

  Arnie Becker : What she knows in which she can prove are not necessarily wanted the same. Now assume... assume that she can prove it. What are the damages?

  Frank Askoff : The damages are catastrophic.

  Arnie Becker : Are they?

  Frank Askoff : I answer to a board of directors made up a very conservative, very Midwestern man.

  Arnie Becker : Right, right. None of whom have never once in their life paid for it.

  Frank Askoff : I also answer to the shareholders.

  Arnie Becker : Frank, I'm not saying you wanted to come out. I'm saying it's not the end of the world.

  Frank Askoff : [sighed]  I want. I have been incapable of functioning sexually with my wife... for over 5 years. We went to therapists, separately together. Nothing helped. It became a source of almost indescribable pain to me.

  [sighed] 

  Frank Askoff : I finally saw out prostitutes. And see what prostitute, I could function or not. Arnie, I don't want people to know anything about that. It's a source of way embarrassment to me to even... be sitting here and telling you.

  Arnie Becker : You really needn't be.

  [Frank gets up] 

  Frank Askoff : I would only ask that you do everything possible so that this does not become public.

• Arnie Becker : Ms. Askoff, you initiated this divorce, did you not?

  Vivian Askoff : Yes.

  Arnie Becker : And before doing so, you emptied out both the safe deposit boxes held in your and your husband's name, you also emptied out all joint bank accounts, is that right?

  Vivian Askoff : Yes, it is.

  Arnie Becker : Were you warring doing so that you're leaving your husband without adequate funds to me is monthly obligations.

  Mrs. Askoff's Atty. Cecily : It not her problem. When we work out the finances will pay over what we owe, that's assuming we owe anything.

  Arnie Becker : Now, you're seeking to examine your husband corporate records, is that right?

  Vivian Askoff : That's right. My husband was concealing marital assets in corporate accounts. I want to know just how much of those assets were being spent on prostitutes.

  Arnie Becker : And what do you base your allegations that your husband frequented prostitutes?

  Vivian Askoff : I based on reports from private investigators. You want it deny it?

  Arnie Becker : For the record, we categorically deny it. However, for the sake of argument, let's assume that your husband did in fact pay for the services of a prostitute. Is it possible that said services represented a last-ditch therapeutic approach to a long-standing condition?

  Vivian Askoff : What condition would that be, Mr. Becker?

  Arnie Becker : It would be impotence, Ms. Askoff.

  Vivian Askoff : Would it be impotence as in a physiological condition or just impotence when he was with me?

• Arnie Becker : I think the literature shows impotence to be a fairly complex condition, I wouldn't presume to ascribe it to one thing or the other.

  Vivian Askoff : I don't think it's in the least bit complex. My husband wasn't physically attracted to me. He clearly was to prostitutes. From the number of times, he visited them, one can safely assume that he was not impotent with them.

  Arnie Becker : Again, assuming that's true. Isn't it possible that your bear some of the responsiblity?

  Vivian Askoff : No, it is not possible.

  Mrs. Askoff's Atty. Cecily : That's holy irrelevant for the purpose...

  Arnie Becker : Was it not you who over the past 5 years, suddenly, and continuously belittle them berated husband?

  Vivian Askoff : I did not do that!

  Mrs. Askoff's Atty. Cecily : Come on.

  Vivian Askoff : I supported my husband! I encouraged to get a physical examination. I encouraged him to get psychological help. We even went to therapy together, which I might tell you, was not easy thing for me to do. But I did it. I stood by, I was faithful to him.

  Frank Askoff : I was desperate, Vivian. I was desperate, now, I didn't know what else to do.

  Vivian Askoff : Your desperation doesn't move me anymore, Frank.

  Arnie Becker : May I ask a purely, practical question? What do you hoping to accomplish here? Have you make these claims in your pleadings, if you argue them in court? Whether it's true or not, it's gonna get out that a big executive went to whores. Your husband short term possibly as long term financial picture worsens. You're on board for lifetime support, I assume, why would you want a Poison the Well?

  Mrs. Askoff's Atty. Cecily : Because, Arnie, we're not looking for support. We want the money up front.

  Arnie Becker : What you're asking for is unconscionable.

  Vivian Askoff : Mr. Becker. I was betrayed by this man, I was lied to, I was frozen out, I was exposed to a life-threatening disease. Since all I can get from him now is money. I want to get all the money I can. And I suggest that you don't appeal to my conscience. My conscience is clear.