L.A. Law (TV Series)
One Rat, One Ranger (1989)
Raye Birk: Judge Steven Lang
Quotes
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Clerk : Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Howard Hulse : I do.
Stuart Markowitz : Your Honor, I renew my objection to this. The fact that the plaintiff had a bad date with this witness...
William Sanderland : He's being offered to prove the defendant's willful disregard of my client's wishes, he is totally relevant.
Judge Steven Lang : All right. Quiet. The objection is overruled. The witness is in. But let's move through it.
William Sanderland : Thank you. Could you please state your name for the record?
Howard Hulse : Howard.
William Sanderland : Your full name, please.
Howard Hulse : Howard Hulse.
William Sanderland : Mr. Hulse, did you employ the defendant, Togetherness Dating Service?
Howard Hulse : I did.
William Sanderland : And as a result of that employment, we're you matched up for a date with the plaintiff, Dianna Dorian?
Howard Hulse : Yes.
William Sanderland : I'm holding in my hand a copy of my client's pre-date questionnaire setting forth her requirements. Item 23, she lists leadership. Are you a leader?
Howard Hulse : I could be. Given the right set of circumstances, I could be.
William Sanderland : Dynamic.
Howard Hulse : I am as dynamic as the next guy.
William Sanderland : [Reading] "With a rapier-like intellectual wit."
Stuart Markowitz : Objection, Counsel's mocking the witness.
Judge Steven Lang : I'll overrule it, but I want you to move fast, Mr. Sanderland.
Howard Hulse : You know, people find me to be a very lively conversationalist, and that's on a wide range of topics.
William Sanderland : How about emotionally stable?
Howard Hulse : How about it?
William Sanderland : Isn't it true that you refused to park in an underground garage because of what you referred to as, and I quote, "an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia"?
Howard Hulse : Eccentricities don't necessarily indicate instability, sir.
William Sanderland : You sniffed your food and you sniffed Ms. Dorian's food at the restaurant. Why?
Howard Hulse : I sniffed mine for signs putrification. It would have been rude of me not to have sniffed hers as well. Tell me, what's wrong with that?
William Sanderland : Nothing, Mr. Hulse. Nothing at all. I have no further questions.