L.A. Law (TV Series)

Open Heart Perjury (1988)

Michael Tucker: Stuart Markowitz

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Quotes 

• Stuart Markowitz : Okay, we're willing to shave our demand by half to $50,000, provided that you agree to an audit...

  Robert Boland : [rudely interruping]  Drop dead, loser! My settlement offer is $5,000, that's it. No more, no less.

  Stuart Markowitz : Five? Five thousand? How can you say that, Mr. Boland? That poor old woman is living off food stamps because of your...

  Robert Boland : [rudely interruping again]  I don't give a damn if that old bag has to hock her dentures. If I cave into her, every one of those old goats, whom you noticed sitting behind you in that courtroom, will be coming after me with their hands out.

  Stuart Markowitz : Those "old goats" are broke because of you. That "I'm sorry" speech on the witness stand was an act. You really did rip all those old people off.

  Robert Boland : I did no such thing. Besides, the geologist supported everything that I said in his testimony. I have nothing to hide.

  Jonathan Rollins : You must have payed off that geologist.

  Robert Boland : Completely unprovable. Even if you can prove it, so what? I got no assets. I have nothing in my name you can't take.

• Jonathan Rollins : You listen, Mr. Boland, we will get a judgment against you regardless of the time it takes, and we will turn the heat on you until that ice cold exterior of yours melts into liquid and when it does, we will pounce all over you!

  Robert Boland : [sarcastic]  Ooooo, nice theory, hot shot. The only problem with it is that your client, Mrs. Crutcher, is 74-years-old. One thing I've learned about old people is that they don't wait very long for a settlement to come their way. They have a nasty habit of dying.

  Stuart Markowitz : What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  Robert Boland : It means if you win this case, I'll appeal. If you win the appeal, I'll appeal the appeal, and so on and on. She keeps fighting, I keep holding out. The day it's finally settled, the day I finally become liquid is the day after Mrs. Crutcher croaks. Why do you think all my clients are only old people, huh?

  Stuart Markowitz : You make me sick.

  Robert Boland : I know. Spoken like a true lawyer who knows he can't get me. You want to do your old client some good? Cut your losses and take the five grand. Come on, Lisa, let's get out of here.

  [Boland and his lawyer exit the conference room while Rollins slams his briefcase to the table in a rage, while Markowitz has a look of disbelief on his face] 

  Stuart Markowitz : [to Rollins]  Whatever it takes Jonathan... I want you to nail that bastard!