- David Letterman: [on premiere episode of new CBS show] When I left my old job at NBC, there was talk that maybe they would sue me if this show was anything like the old show, and frankly I never took it seriously, because for one thing I thought, well, the legal department at NBC has their hands all tied up defending that "Dateline NBC" show... and then this morning I wake up and next to me in bed is the head of a peacock, so I don't know...
- [band plays "Godfather" theme]
- Paul Newman: [interrupting Dave from the back row of the auditorium] Hey! Where the hell are the singing cats?