- Det. John Munch: [in lesbian bar] Lennie, there's gotta be ten women for every woman in this place!
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: And all gorgeous...
- Det. John Munch: ...and happy. As soon as they invent artificial sperm and a machine that opens jars, you and I are out of business, old buddy.
- Jack McCoy: [after Purcell has been murdered while being transported by the FBI to testify before Dell's grand jury] Chesley Purcell got one break.
- ASA Ed Danvers: How's that?
- Jack McCoy: She won't have to sit in the same room as William Dell.
- Det. John Munch: [searching victim's bedroom] Place is negative for condoms, or any kind of contraceptive devices. Ditto peekaboo bras, Merry Widows, any Doc Johnson products. This lady had no discernible sex life!
- Det. Lennie Briscoe: Maybe she enjoyed solitaire.
- Jack McCoy: [referring to Dell] He's already deposed Jamie Ross over my run-in with the disciplinary committee. Now I hear he's deposed Diane Hawthorne.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh boy!
- Abbie Carmichael: Someone fill me in here: Who's Diane Hawthorne?
- Jack McCoy: She was an ADA. I had a relationship with her.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: Well, now you know what Mr Dell's going to ask you at the grand jury. He's going to roast your pistachios.
- Jack McCoy: He's trying to bully me.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: Now you know how it feels to be on the receiving end.
- Chesley Purcell: [while being interrogated] Can you get them to open up the window? All these dicks are stinking up the room.
- Det. John Munch: [in lesbian bar] I don't believe a woman is gay until she personally rejects me.
- Woman in bar: You must know a lot of lesbians!
- [to Briscoe after he exited from an interrogation room where there is a young suspect]
- Abbie Carmichael: Oh, great. You made her cry.
- Mr. Bowker: [sightseeing] Hey, kids, look! This is called "Castle Clinton". It's an old naval fort.
- Shane Bowker: It's the President's fort?
- Mr. Bowker: No! It's named after... uh... I don't know who. But not the President.
- Mrs. Bowker: There's the restroom: they should name ***that*** after the President.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Your name is John James McCoy?
- Jack McCoy: Yes
- [Dell fills out a form and hands it to McCoy]
- Jack McCoy: What's this?
- Independent Counsel William Dell: I'm subpoenaing you before my grand jury.
- Jack McCoy: [after Dell has questioned McCoy about ADA Kincaid's death in front of the grand jury] Mr Dell, have you no shame? Have you no shame?
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Mr. McCoy, what are you hiding?
- Jack McCoy: Nothing. I'm simply trying to discharge my duties as a prosecutor for New York County.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Your duties? Mr. McCoy, weren't you called before the Disciplinary Committee of the New York Bar Association for withholding a witness statement in a murder case?
- Jack McCoy: I ultimately offered that statement at trial.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: That wasn't my question.
- Jack McCoy: Yes, I appeared before the Disciplinary Committee.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Isn't it true a fellow A.D.A., Diane Hawthorne, illegally withheld exculpatory evidence in a case you were both prosecuting which led to the conviction of an innocent man?
- Jack McCoy: Yes. I had no knowledge of that, and furthermore...
- Independent Counsel William Dell: This A.D.A. was one of your lovers, isn't that right?
- Jack McCoy: Now, you just hold on...
- Independent Counsel William Dell: A simple yes or no, Mr. McCoy.
- Jack McCoy: I can't see any possible relevance...
- Independent Counsel William Dell: I see in your record a disturbing pattern of perjury, contempt of court, obstruction of justice. I want to know what it is you're hiding, Mr. McCoy, and why.
- Jack McCoy: I answered that.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Not to my satisfaction. One of the principal investigators in Janine McBride's murder is Detective Leonard Briscoe, is that right?
- Jack McCoy: Yes.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: The same Detective Briscoe who was investigated by the Hellman Commission for destroying evidence in a drug case?
- Jack McCoy: Why don't you tell the grand jury he was cleared of that?
- Independent Counsel William Dell: Just a moment, Mr. McCoy. And whose daughter was murdered after testifying in the trial of a drug dealer?
- Jack McCoy: What are you insinuating?
- Independent Counsel William Dell: His involvement in this case raises serious concerns about the integrity of your investigation.
- Jack McCoy: Detective Briscoe is above reproach.
- Independent Counsel William Dell: You're hardly an impartial witness. Wasn't he a passenger in a car driven by another one of your lovers at the D. A. 's office when she was killed? Wasn't he drunk at the time? The accident report indicates that he was. Now, one last time, Mr. McCoy, what is the name of your witness, and what did they tell the police?
- Jack McCoy: Mr. Dell, have you no shame? Have you no shame?
- Independent Counsel William Dell: What I have is little patience for people who stonewall me. I direct you to answer.