- Elliot Stabler: [after being asked why he joined SVU] I think sex should be one of the best experiences in life, not one of the worst.
- Detective Olivia Benson: [Stabler returns from testifying against a 'weenie wagger'] Hey, how'd it go?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: He's in Bellevue.
- Detective Olivia Benson: The jury came back that fast?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: He waved his flag at 'em before they got the chance. Nobody saluted.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Ok, so it's not robbery, but stabbings aren't necessarily sexual. You know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Is there a specific reason you called us out?
- Bremmer: Whoever did this sliced off his cigar and took it with him. Is that specific enough?
- Detective Olivia Benson: Works for me.
- Detective Brian Cassidy: What's that?
- Elliot Stabler: [handing a report to Cragen] Take a look at that. Fingerprint check on Pancek. I'd say that gives us a whole different kind of motive.
- Captain Donald Cragen: [glancing at the report] See if any of the victims are in the New York area. Your partner may not like this.
- Elliot Stabler: Why? It's a murder investigation.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Just don't let her forget we don't get to pick the vic.
- [Much and Cassidy exchange confused glances]
- Detective John Munch: Are we missing some key piece of information here?
- Elliot Stabler, Captain Donald Cragen: Shut up, John.
- Detective John Munch: No way! I'm never setting foot in the city of Baltimore again as long as I'm on this mortal sphere!
- Detective Olivia Benson: [after debating the light punishment given to a murderer who is otherwise a good person] I think we did the only thing that will let me go home and sleep tonight.
- Captain Donald Cragen: You just used your Get Out of Jail Free card. There's only one in the pack.
- Gallery Owner: My wife's bisexual, but she prefers women.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Oh, lucky for her.
- Detective Monique Jefferies: Hey, you guys going to eat all this?
- Detective John Munch: Suppose we say 'yes'?
- Detective Monique Jefferies: Suppose I'm just being polite?
- Detective John Munch: Oh, that would be a first...
- Detective Brian Cassidy: That's cool, John doesn't eat vegetables.
- Detective Monique Jefferies: Yeah? The way I heard, that's the only thing John never gets to uh... eat.
- Detective Brian Cassidy: Ouch.
- Policeman: Sergeant just got a call for a Sex Crimes detective at the 96th street I.R.T...
- Captain Donald Cragen: Why?
- Policeman: Some guy molesting a body.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Oh, that is just terrific. Who's up?
- Detective Brian Cassidy: Me and Munch?
- Captain Donald Cragen: Well, listen, I think a dead molestee can be handled by one detective. Cassidy you go. Munch give Stabler and Benson the benefit of your vast puncture wound experience.
- Detective Brian Cassidy: Sir, if the body is dead is that considered a sex crime?
- Captain Donald Cragen: Just go. You know, investigate, interrogate, write up a DD-5.
- Detective John Munch: What about your erstwhile partner?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Oh, I'd love to John, but my presence is required in court this morning.
- Detective Brian Cassidy: I read about it in the news. City councilman right?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Weenie wagger.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Okay, Olivia, let's just say the vic had the misfortune of buying the wrong hack license. Spicer's the target. Who wanted him dead?
- Detective John Munch: Whoever called the dispatcher.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Wow.
- Detective Olivia Benson: Nice. Good stuff. Keep that.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Thanks, thanks a lot.
- Detective John Munch: It never stops.
- Detective John Munch: [to Cragen about donuts] You know they have more varieties than that.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: That was the M.E. The stab wounds... 37 of them. This still reads gay to me.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Panacek's prints are clean here, right?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Yes.
- Captain Donald Cragen: So do this by the numbers. He's illegal, send a set to Interpol too.
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Forensics report...
- Captain Donald Cragen: What?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: They found part of a fingernail in the front seat of the cab with red nail polish on it.
- Detective Olivia Benson: Dispatcher said that he thought it might have been a woman who called about Spicer.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Kind of undercuts your gay theory, huh?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Could be a he/she?
- Captain Donald Cragen: Didn't two of Spicer's married johns take a bust?
- Detective Olivia Benson: Yeah, about six months ago vice was targeting the piers.
- Captain Donald Cragen: I'm sure their wives must have been thrilled.
- Captain Donald Cragen: [Munch chuckles] What are you doing?
- Detective John Munch: Eavesdropping.
- Gallery Owner: Unfortunately Spicer's is a disgusting little piece of street meat, but he has a extraordinary gifted orifice in the middle of his face.
- Detective John Munch: A military plane drops J.F.K.'s coffin in the middle into 9,000 feet of water three years after the assassination. You don't fund that suggestive-perhaps even a tad bit disquieting?
- Detective Brian Cassidy: No.
- Detective John Munch: No? The Justice Department waits 33 years before they impart this tidbit on the American people. And then they say they did it because it wasn't evidence? What are you sheep? Will you believe anything?
- [offers a bucket of licorice]
- Captain Donald Cragen: You can't trust the computers. They get backed up and don't input the releases.
- Detective Olivia Benson: That's why I talked to the watch captain and had then check personally to see if Spicer's still there.
- Captain Donald Cragen: Well, why is this ours?
- Detective Elliot Stabler: Doer sliced off the vic's unit.
- [spits out licorice]
- Det. Olivia Benson: I went down to the hack bureau. Our dead guy, Victor Spicer? His licence was suspened when he got 11 months for assault.
- Elliot Stabler: And?
- Det. Olivia Benson: He's still in Rikers.
- Detective Olivia Benson: He was stabbed last night, his genitals were cut off.
- Marta Stevens: So?
- Detective Olivia Benson: So I can see you're greatly affected by this.
- Marta Stevens: How would you feel if your neighbor raped you for 3 weeks and the government gave him a medal?
- Elliot Stabler: How do you know Stefan Tanzer?
- Anya Rugova: He murdered my husband and my grandson with a hatchet, why?
- Detective Olivia Benson: He was murdered sometime between Wednesday night and Thursday morning.
- Anya Rugova: Good.
- Detective Monique Jefferies: Doesn't sound like there's much doubt on the C.O.D.
- Detective John Munch: Do you think that you're conclusional pole vaults are personality or gender-driven?
- Detective Monique Jefferies: I don't know, John. What about deductively logical?
- Detective John Munch: Oh really? I had what looked like a stabbing once in Baltimore, it turns out some guy was getting divorced and drank drain cleaner and his soon-to-be-unmarried widow discovered him dead-no alimony. She stabbed him 15 times out of pique.
- Marta Stevens: He raped me every night for 23 days. Sometimes he was too drunk to do it himself so he'd use whatever was around. A wrench, a pistol, a broom handle. Sometimes he'd say when he was tired of me, he'd kill me instead of keep using me.