- Theodore Cleaver: Gee, Eddie, do you really think I could become a big star?
- Eddie Haskell: What are you talking about? If it could happen to Fabian, it could happen to anyone!
- June Cleaver: Do you know where they were going?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, heck, Mom! How would I know? They didn't wait for me to tell me.
- June Cleaver: Wally, why can't you children ever give your parents a straight answer?
- Wally Cleaver: Well, gee, Mom! 'Cause we never know what answer you're looking for!
- June Cleaver: Ward, who was the girl who said you looked like Melvyn Douglas?
- Ward Cleaver: Evelyn Bottenhaus.
- June Cleaver: Evelyn Bottenhaus! Oh, honey, go on! There was no such girl!
- Ward Cleaver: Well, sure there was! She was the first girl in Shaker Heights to wear galoshes with white fur around them.
- Ward Cleaver: June, do we have any birthdays or anniversaries coming up?
- June Cleaver: No.
- [looks up at Ward, smiling]
- June Cleaver: But it's all right if you want to buy me something anyway!