- [Gene is looking at a poster for The Good, The Bad And The Ugly]
- Sam Tyler: Which one are you?
- DCI Gene Hunt: All three.
- [to Phyllis Dobbs, custody sergeant, talking about a witness that he's just brought in]
- Sam Tyler: He's a key witness. So could you treat him like a person, Phyllis. D'you remember "people"? You used to be one!
- Sam Tyler: What are you smirking at, Mona Lisa?
- Test Card Girl: I'm sorry you're lonely, Sam.
- [Sam screams]
- Test Card Girl: Are you really lonely here?
- Sam Tyler: No no no no no no no, I'm not listening!
- Test Card Girl: Don't you think you could be lonely out there, In the white room that's too warm?
- Sam Tyler: Stop it!
- Test Card Girl: Life goes on, but does it really go on for the sleeping man?
- Sam Tyler: I'm not sleeping, I'm here!
- Test Card Girl: And isn't it better here, where you can be busy?
- Sam Tyler: Look, just... get out!
- Test Card Girl: You don't like me and my clown, I can see I make you frown. When on earth will all this end? I'm you're friend, you're only friend.
- Sam Tyler: Get out!
- Gene: Oi! Gary Cooper nearly came down then! If you want to kick the ball about, do it in the corridor!
- Sam Tyler: A black car, yeah?
- Leonard: Ford... Granada.
- Sam Tyler: Registration?
- Leonard: E... I don't know.
- DCI Gene Hunt: Sorry, was that, like, you saying the letter "E", and you don't know the rest or was that, like, you saying "EEE, I Dunno"
- Sam Tyler: In "Hyde", we don't traditionally keep acid and knocked-off bling in our offices just so we could get home early.
- DCI Gene Hunt: There's no badge down there, Sammy-boy. Mind you, does tickle open a few doors, eh? Come on!
- Sam Tyler: You were supposed to be watching them.
- Ray Carling: Oh. It's a fair cop.
- Sam Tyler: [to Gene] Trent's got Leonard. And Annie's there. On her own.