Life on Mars (TV Series)

Episode #1.3 (2006)

John Simm: DI Sam Tyler

Photos 

Quotes 

• DS Chris Skelton : Bingo! I got one. Martin Ellis, lorry driver. Waiting for a fabrics pick-up at 2:30 this morning. Spotted a thickset man running out of the loom hall.

  Sam Tyler : Good, can I see it?

  [Chris shows Sam a black and white picture with a head which looks like a butternut squash with ears] 

  Sam Tyler : Chris, have you ever seen anybody that looks like that?

  DS Chris Skelton : It's the best we could do.

  Sam Tyler : It's a doddle, then. We're looking for someone with hamster's cheeks, a nose like Audrey Hepburn and two foot of forehead.

• Gene Hunt : What is your problem, Sam?

  Sam Tyler : My problem would rock your world.

• Sam Tyler : Anyone can run around like an 'eadless chicken, but nothing beats the satisfaction of a thorough investigative process!

• Sam Tyler : [to Litton]  If I were you, I'd swallow it down. We had a result. One nil.

• Derek Bannister : [to Gene while holding Sam at gunpoint]  Yeah, but I bet you can't shoot me before I shoot him.

  Sam Tyler : For God's sake, don't throw him down a wager!

• Sam Tyler : The time, Chris?

  DS Chris Skelton : Four-ish.

  Sam Tyler : Precise time.

  DS Chris Skelton : Just after four. Er, five, ten past.

  Sam Tyler : Four-oh-seven.

  [Sam looking his watch finally] 

  DS Chris Skelton : Closer to ten past.

  Sam Tyler : Thank you , DC Skelton.

• Gene Hunt : [to another police officer examining blood on the floor]  Oi! Hairy Mary, shift yourself, you're in the way.

  Sam Tyler : Let him do his job.

• Gene Hunt : Chief culprit is Ted Bannister. I want him in custody by teatime.

  Sam Tyler : What, because he spoke first?

  Gene Hunt : 'Cos he's guilty as sin, and he's a commie bastard.

  Sam Tyler : Sorry, that's bollocks. Total rubbish.

  Gene Hunt : You're just itching to get your blood-spillage book out, aren't ya!

  Sam Tyler : You're making him prime suspect based on what, a hunch?

• Gene Hunt : Is my name 'Coco'?

  Sam Tyler : What?

  Gene Hunt : Why are you trying to make me look like a clown? Litton's gonna have a field day when he finds out you left four untraceable shooters out there.

  Sam Tyler : This isn't about Litton. And don't blame me for this. You dumped it on me!

  Gene Hunt : I thought you said you could multi... storey... task... Whatever!

• Phyllis Dobbs : [on the radio]  870? 870! 870, come in, will you!

  Sam Tyler : Phyllis, is that you?

  Phyllis Dobbs : No, it's Jane Fonda on the hunt for men!

• [talking about Gene's wager as to whether Ted Bannister is the real killer] 

  Sam Tyler : If you think I'm going to reduce a murder investigation to the level of a... a playground bet...

  Gene : Cowardy cowardy custard. Can't cut the mustard.